


Off Course

by Julesmonster



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Family Drama, M/M, Misunderstandings, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-24
Updated: 2012-09-24
Packaged: 2017-11-14 23:23:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 25,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/520585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julesmonster/pseuds/Julesmonster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just before graduation, something happened to tear the Hudson-Hummel family apart. Now, five years later, fate is stepping in and forcing Finn to face the past and try to make sense of everything at last.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
> 
> A/N: Well, here is my second Glee fic. The plot bunny for this story was born out of Burt's reaction when Finn called Kurt's lamp 'faggoty'. I mean, he really lost his temper and wouldn't listen to anything Finn had to say. (Yes, I know it was an awful thing to say, but Kurt really pushed him, so it wasn't just Finn.) Burt tossed a sixteen year old kid out of the house (and did any of you wonder where he went that night?). That got me thinking. What if something even worse happened… or Burt thought something worse happened?
> 
> The foundation of this story is filled with angst and therefore the story is filled with angst, though there are some lighter moments. I kid you not when I say that I cried several times when I was writing this story. (No one dies, for those of you who are wondering. I am a firm believer in happy endings and this story is no exception to that.) Anyway, before I give the whole damn thing away, I'll wish you happy reading. Hope you enjoy! Jules

Finn Hudson hated when his route sent him along Interstate 75; it always brought back such painful memories. Burt standing at the door to the house looking like he was a second away from killing him, his mother standing with him with tears streaming down her face. He had turned to her for help or understanding or something, but she'd just said, "I'm sorry Finn. I can't help you this time." He often wondered what exactly Kurt had told them after it was all over. Oh, he had a general idea and he knew that what he had done was wrong, but… but Kurt wasn't completely innocent either. He wondered sometimes if they knew that.

Finn talked to his mom about once a month because he knew she worried about him being on the road all the time, but the closeness they had shared his whole life had disappeared the day she chose Kurt and Burt over him. They never discussed what had happened; in fact they barely talked about anything beyond how's work and are you getting enough to eat.

His whole future had been turned upside down that day. After busting his right shoulder in senior year, it became painfully obvious that Finn was never going to play college ball. And he wasn't sure he would have been able to pass the classes anyway. He knew he wasn't the brightest kid, but that was okay because he had discovered that he loved working on cars with Burt and Burt had said he could go get his mechanics certificate at the community college, maybe take a few business courses, and then Finn could work with him at the garage. It wasn't a life Kurt would have ever wanted, but it was one that Finn would have loved.

After Burt kicked him out, though, Finn had to change his plans. He stayed with Puck for a while, but he had to find a way to survive on his own. That was how he had ended up driving trucks. He'd tried to find a job at one of the other shops around town, but without his certificate—not to mention the awful rumors that were going around about him—they didn't want him. But the trucking school in Findlay would train him and pay him while they trained him and all he had to do was agree to work for their company for a couple years after.

Now, five years later, Finn thought he was content with his life. He had an okay apartment in Columbus. It was small, but it was just him and he wasn't really there much, so that was okay. He had a job that he could tolerate and he was good at. How hard was it to haul loads across country, even for a dumb guy like him? The only friend from high school he kept in touch with was Puck. In fact, he was really the only friend Finn had at all. He hadn't just lost his family that day. Everyone from glee club had chosen sides, and only Puck had chosen him. Since then, being on the road all the time made it easy to avoid making friends who would probably just hurt him later.

Yeah, Finn was usually content with his life except when he had to take 75 and drive through Lima and all of those old feelings and thoughts rushed back and he knew that it was a lie. He wasn't content. He wasn't happy. He was miserable and angry and hurt that no one believed him. Five years of misery because of one stupid night.

Puck had really proven himself to be a good friend. He'd not only taken Finn in, he'd stood up to the rest of the glee club for him. He had even given up his girlfriend over the whole thing. When Finn tried to thank him and apologize, Puck had shrugged it off and said he was going to break up with her after the summer anyway. She was leaving for college in Atlanta and Puck was going to play ball for Wright State. It was a crappy football team and Puck never made anything but second string, but they paid for him to go to school and even gave him tutors to help him pass classes. Now, Puck lived not far from Finn in Columbus and worked at an advertising agency. Finn thought it was pretty cool what he did, but Puck always shrugged it off and said it was just a job.

Finn turned some music on as he started to pass some of the familiar landmarks north of Lima. Maybe the music would take his mind off of these depressing thoughts. He was on his way back from Chicago with an empty trailer and a full wallet. He'd just spent three weeks straight on the road and he couldn't wait to get to his cramped little apartment and sleep for three days. He never got enough sleep when he was hauling a load. There were deadlines to make and bonuses to earn. He'd been saving for years and he almost had enough money put away now to go back to school and get his mechanics certificate. He'd have to budget carefully and probably haul loads over the summer break, but he could finally sign up for the courses he'd missed five years ago.

All thoughts of Finn's life flew out the window as he watched some maniac in an Audi a couple cars ahead swerving in and out of traffic, trying to pass at dangerous speeds. It was like some car chase in a movie when the guy decided that he wasn't going to wait for the car ahead of him to get out of the way and tried to pass on the shoulder. He almost made it, too. Just as he was swerving back onto the highway, the gravel gave and his car swung out crazily and hit the little blue Honda Fit he was trying to pass. The Fit lost control and careened off the side of the highway and into the ditch, but the maniac just kept driving.

Finn got the guys plate and called it in over the radio for other trucks to keep an eye out even as he pulled his rig over to the side of the road. Once he was stopped, he grabbed his cell and dialed 911. He gave them the Audi's plate number and told them about the Fit. He stayed on the phone with the 911 operator while he climbed down the six foot embankment to the car. He needed to let her know if they were going to need an ambulance.

The first thing Finn noticed was that the little car looked like it had crumpled and there was glass everywhere. The driver looked like he was moving and he told the dispatch that. He also saw that he was bleeding and he told them that as well. He was prepared for just about anything when he reached the little car, or he thought he was.

He wasn't prepared to find Kurt Hummel looking dazed with blood flowing from his temple and down his cheek. He told the dispatch to send the ambulance and hung up.

"Kurt?" Finn asked with worry. It was funny, after everything, he still really cared about him. "Are you okay?"

"Finn? I think I hit my head," Kurt said. He sounded drunk; his words were lightly slurred and he was confused. "I must have. I was coming to see you, but here you are. Are we at your apartment?" He tried to open his door and climb out of the car.

Finn got the door open, but he stopped Kurt from getting out. "You need to stay put. There's an ambulance coming. You shouldn't be moving around. Okay?"

Kurt nodded dumbly. "I told them. I told them it was my fault. I told them and then… I was coming to see you. What are you doing here?"

"I saw the accident and pulled over to help," Finn said. He was pretty sure Kurt wasn't going to understand anything he was telling him.

"I hit my head," Kurt told him again. "I think I'm hallucinating. I was coming to see you. I wanted to tell you how sorry I am." And then Kurt began to cry. "I'm so sorry Finn! I'm sorry!"

"Shh," Finn hushed and pulled Kurt very carefully into his arms. "It's going to be okay. I can hear the sirens. The police and ambulance are almost here." But he suddenly realized that Kurt wasn't crying anymore. In fact he wasn't doing anything. He was out cold and his breathing was labored and Finn was growing alarmed. He prayed that the ambulance would get there and that they could help him. As angry as he might be, he knew he didn't want Kurt to die. He still loved him.

**FKFKFKFKFK**

Finn rode in the ambulance to the hospital with Kurt. He had called his boss and told him what was going on while the EMTs got Kurt out of the car and on the stretcher. Mitch said he'd have someone run up and get the rig. He should just concentrate on Kurt. Finn had thanked him and shut off his phone. He'd gone to grab his duffle bag from the cab of the truck and then climbed into the back of the ambulance just as they were about to pull away.

Once at the hospital, there was nothing to do but wait as they rushed Kurt off behind some double doors. Finn tried to follow, but the nurse stopped him.

"But he's… my brother," Finn said. He felt like a hypocrite using that word, but if it got him in to be with Kurt then he'd throw it around all day.

"I understand sir," the nurse said kindly. "But they're taking him to x-ray. You can't go with him. You have to wait out here." She gave him another sympathetic smile and then disappeared behind the doors and Finn just stood there feeling totally lost and more alone than he had in years.

He had to call his mom and tell her what happened, but he was dreading that call. With a deep sigh he went to the reception desk and told the woman there that he was going out to make a call, but asked if she would come get him if there was any news. She smiled kindly at him and promised she would, so Finn stepped outside and went to the benches to the left of the entrance and sat down. He pulled his pack of cigarettes from his shirt pocket and lit one. He let the chemicals in the smoke sooth his nerves for a moment before he got out his phone and made the call.

"Finn? Sweetie? What's wrong?" Carole asked. "You never call except on the first Sunday of the month."

Finn took another drag from his cigarette and then exhaled slowly. "I was on my way home from a run to Chicago. I saw a pretty bad accident on 75. Mom, it was Kurt. We're at the hospital."

"Oh god, Finn," Carole whispered. "I've… I've got to call Burt. We'll… we'll be there as soon as we can, okay? You'll stay with him, won't you?"

"Yeah," Finn said quietly. "I'll stay. They won't let me back with him right now, but I'll be here."

Carole hung up the phone and Finn sighed as he took another drag from the cigarette. He'd been trying to quit for a while now, but still fell back on old habits when he was under stress. He smoked three cigarettes in a row while he waited for something to happen.

"Mr. Hudson?" It was the nurse from before and Finn quickly tossed the cigarette into the ash tray there before walking over to meet her. "The doctor would like to speak with you."

"Yeah, okay," Finn said. He followed her into the ER and back through the double doors he'd been locked out of before. They walked through a maze of curtained cubicles until they reached a nurses' station where the doctor was standing in green scrubs and writing on a chart of some kind. He looked up when they approached and gave them a smile.

"Are you Finn?" the doctor asked.

"Uh, yeah," Finn said. "How's Kurt? Is he okay?"

"He's going to be just fine, Finn," he said. "I'm Doctor Mendel. I'm in charge of your brother's care. Kurt is suffering from a concussion and until we could get him awake and aware, we couldn't be sure if he had suffered brain damage. He is awake now, and we've done a full neurological exam. He's going to be just fine. And he's asking for you. Or rambling about you would be more accurate."

"So he's okay," Finn said, trying to reassure himself.

"Well, his right ankle is broken and will need to be put in a cast," Dr. Mendel said. "And he has a few cuts and bruises as well as a few cuts that needed stitches, all of which will need time to heal, plus he'll have one hell of a headache for a few days, but yes, he's going to be fine. Would you like to see him?"

"Please," Finn said and was quick to follow when the doctor led him to one of the curtained cubicles. Once inside he found Kurt looking pale and fragile, but he was alive and awake.

"Finn."

"Hey," Finn said and walked over to the gurney. "How do you feel?"

"Awful," Kurt said. "Are you really here? I'm not just dreaming that you showed up to rescue me?"

"No," Finn said with an awkward laugh. "I'm really here."

"I'm sorry," Kurt said even as his eyes began to droop. "I'm so sorry."

"So you've said," Finn muttered quietly. Kurt was already asleep and he didn't want to wake him up. He probably needed the sleep.

"He's on some pretty strong pain medication right now," Dr. Mendel said, surprising Finn. He had forgotten the other man was there. "We're going to admit him and keep him overnight for observation, but I don't think there will be any reason he won't be able to go home tomorrow."

"Yeah," Finn said. "That's… that's good."

Just then his mom and Burt walked through the curtains and soon there was a flurry of activity. Finn backed away from the cubicle and tried to find his way back to the ER entrance. He had to stop and ask for directions once, but he finally made it back to the bench where he had been before. He didn't need to be there any more. Kurt was going to be okay and his mom and Burt were there. He wasn't needed any more. He could probably call Puck for a ride. He'd make the two hour drive to get him. Or he could catch a cab to the greyhound station, but he wasn't really sure how long the wait would be for a bus to Columbus.

He lit another cigarette and sighed.

"That's a filthy habit."

Finn turned around to see Burt standing there. "Been trying to quit, but times like this…" He shrugged.

"I wanted to thank you… Kurt said you saved him," Burt said quietly. The tension between the two men was thick and Finn just wanted to walk away from it.

"No, I just called the ambulance," Finn said. "If I hadn't I'm sure one of the other people who witnessed the accident would have."

"Finn… I'm sorry," Burt said. "Kurt told us—"

"I don't want to talk about that," Finn interrupted. "Hell, I don't want to be here at all."

"We should have—"

"For fuck's sake!" Finn shouted. "Don't you get it? I don't want to talk about this! You should have? Should have what? Listened to me? Given me the fucking benefit of the doubt? Remembered that I was your goddamn son too? What? But I wasn't your son, was I? Not when it fucking mattered. Well guess what? It's too late to go back and fix it!"

"I know that," Burt said. "I know that!"

"Then just leave it the fuck alone," Finn said quietly and tossed his cigarette butt away. He grabbed up his duffle bag and began walking. He had no idea where he was going, but he knew he needed to get the fuck away from there.

"Finn!"

Finn didn't bother to turn around. "Tell mom I'll call her in two weeks, like usual." He kept walking and heaved a sigh of relief when he didn't hear footsteps following him.


	2. Chapter 2

Finn sat at a table at the coffee shop down the road from the hospital. He wasn't sure what the hell he was going to do to get home. He'd called Puck, but he was at a conference in Phoenix and wouldn't be back for three days. He'd checked the greyhound schedule from his iphone and there wasn't a bus leaving for almost 24 hours. He supposed he could get a hotel, but he hated wasting money on something like that. Those kinds of unbudgeted expenses set him back on his goal to go back to school. He was nursing his coffee while he thought in the air conditioned shop, happy to get out of the summer heat.

Carole had called him not long after he left the hospital, but Finn had ignored all her calls. He didn't want to talk to her. He almost never answered her calls anyway. Usually he let it go to voicemail and if it was important she would leave a message. There was no message this time so he knew it wasn't about Kurt. Or not about his condition at least.

Finn really wasn't sure what to feel about everything that was happening. Kurt had fessed up, but it had taken him five years to do it. Kurt was hurt, but he was going to be okay. Kurt had apologized. Burt had apologized. What he had said to Burt was true, though. None of that changed the last five years of misery and loneliness. None of that changed the fact that Finn had been tossed away because everyone— _ **everyone**_ —believed the worst of him.

"Finn?"

Finn looked up, surprised that anyone would recognize him but then he smiled. "Schue."

"What are you doing here?" Schue asked. "How are you?"

Finn sighed and shook his head. "I… Kurt was in a car accident."

"I'm sorry," Schue said as he took the seat across from Finn and took a sip of his coffee. "Is he going to be okay?"

"Yeah," Finn said. "I made sure before I left the hospital. I was driving my rig back to Columbus and saw the whole thing. I went to see if I could help and found Kurt."

"Wow," Schue said. "He's lucky you were there."

Finn shrugged. "Anyone would have helped."

"So, I take it you saw your mom and Kurt's dad at the hospital," Schue said.

"Yeah," Finn said. "Kurt finally told them the truth."

Schue had been one of the only people who had given him a chance to explain himself. Over the years, he'd maintained contact with Finn through calls and emails. It was through him that Finn was able to keep track of how Kurt was doing. He refused to ask his mom and she never brought the other boy up in their brief calls. But Schue had been as supportive as he could be and he had kept Finn from doing something really stupid a few times over the years.

"Again, wow," Schue said. "How did they take the news?"

"I have no idea," Finn said. "Kurt told them before the accident and then… he was a bit out of it when he talked to me. Burt tried to apologize at the hospital but I… I lost my temper and told him off." Finn huffed a sad laugh. "It's hard to believe I used to be afraid of him."

"You were just a kid then and he was a grown man," Schue said. "I can understand why you would be so angry, but are you are you want to turn away the chance to have your family back?"

Finn shrugged. "I don't know. I do know that I'm angrier with him and my mom than I ever was at Kurt. We were both just kids. He let them believe… but… but he was hurt and angry and scared. I get that. What I don't understand and probably won't ever understand is why they would just… They never even gave me a chance to tell my side. No one did except for you. And Puck, but he would have sided with me even if I had been guilty."

"I know," Schue said sadly. "Listen; are you here for a few days or what?"

Finn shrugged. "I was just trying to figure that out. I had to leave the rig on the highway and my boss had someone pick it up. But now I don't have a ride back to Columbus until the Greyhound tomorrow at 6 pm."

Schue smiled. "And no place to stay tonight, I'll bet. Well, you're going to stay with me tonight. I have a perfectly serviceable sofa. And tomorrow, I'll drive you back to Columbus."

"Oh. You don't have to do that," Finn said, but he was really hoping Schue would insist. He really was tired and the idea of spending another 24 hours without a decent night's sleep was depressing.

"I know I don't have to," Schue said. "I want to do it. That's what friends do, right?"

Finn smiled a little and agreed. "Yeah, I guess it is."

**FKFKFKFKFK**

Schue's apartment hadn't really changed at all in the last five years. In fact, Finn found it kind of weird how clean and neat it was. Schue was a single guy, just like him, but his apartment looked like it came out of store catalogue whereas Finn's apartment looked like it came out of his mother's nightmares. There were always dirty clothes on the floor, even if he had just done laundry the day before. The dishes seemed to multiply in the sink until he had to do them in order to have a clean spoon for his cereal. He actually dusted and vacuumed and cleaned, but usually only when he had a date coming over.

"Well, besides all this business, how are things going?" Schue asked as he grabbed two beers and handed on to Finn. "We haven't talked in a few weeks."

"I've been on the road for three weeks," Finn said. "I was just on my way home when all this happened. "I think I've finally got enough money to go back to school. I'll have to do another three week run next month, and probably do two or three runs next summer, but I'm pretty sure I've got everything figured out."

"That's really great," Schue said sincerely. He had tried to get Finn some sort of financial assistance for school, but he couldn't get anything beyond tuition grants. He still had to do something to support himself while he was in school. Finn refused to take out a bunch of loans and he was right to believe that he would need to concentrate totally on school if he had a hope of graduating. So he and Finn had worked on a budget of exactly how much money he would need to survive two years of school without loans or extra work.

"Took long enough," Finn said. "But I feel really good. I accomplished this on my own. I know everyone always thought I was an idiot, and I know I'm not the brightest guy, but… But I did this on my own."

They sat across from each other in the living room and drank their beers. "What about Chris? How are things going there?"

"They aren't going," Finn shrugged. "Couldn't stand the times I'm on the road. Didn't trust me not to cheat." Finn snorted. "Like I have time or energy to cheat when I'm on the road."

"I'm sorry," Schue said.

"Don't be," Finn said. "I'm not. What about you? Still dancing around Miss Pillsbury?"

Schue chuckled ruefully. "Emma and I are dating again. Sort of. I think."

"That sounds like you've got more issues with your love life than I have with mine," Finn teased.

"I always have," Schue admitted. "Or at least as many. We both got caught in the baby scam, remember?"

"Don't remind me," Finn grimaced. "I try never to think about just how gullible I was."

"Me too," Schue said with a grin.

They ordered in pizza for dinner and sat up for a while as they caught up on their lives and Schue filled Finn in on what he knew about the other Glee members. It wasn't very long, however, before Finn's long trip and emotional day caught up with him. He fell asleep right in the middle of Schue's story about the latest battle with Coach Sylvester. Schue smiled fondly at the young man and woke him just long enough to make up the sofa. As soon as Finn lay back down, he was out.

**FKFKFKFKFK**

Schue let Finn sleep in the next morning but eventually, Finn's growling stomach woke him up. Since school was out for the summer, Schue had all day and wasn't in a real hurry. So they stopped at a diner that served breakfast all day and Finn had a chance to fill up.

"You sure you don't want to stop by the hospital before we go?" Schue asked for the third time that morning.

Finn sighed. "I called when you were in the shower. He's not even there any more. They discharged him this morning."

"Oh," Schue said. "Well in that case, are you ready to go?"

"Yeah," Finn said. He ate the last of his omelet and took a last gulp of his soda before standing to follow Schue out to his car. At least Schue had finally replaced his old junker with a… newer junker. At least this one didn't have the muffler dragging. Since Finn's car wasn't in much better shape, he couldn't really complain. But Finn was actually trying to fix his car up when he wasn't on the road. He had found a 1972 Dodge Challenger in horrible shape. The woman who sold it to him told Finn that her late husband had been meaning to fix it up for twenty years. He died before he did more than buy a new set of fuzzy dice for the car.

Finn had done a lot more than that to the car since he had bought it. It actually ran now, but he hadn't gotten around to any of the cosmetic repairs. The seats were all ripped up and the paint was a mismatch of colors from where different body parts were replaced at one time or another. But it ran… more than that, Finn had suped the engine up so that it was actually better than it had been brand new. That car was one of the reasons his apartment was so small. He had decided it was more important to get a place with a garage to lock up his baby when he was on the road than it was to get a place with a lot of room.

As soon as they walked out of the diner they heard an incredulous, "Finn Hudson?"

Finn groaned, knowing who it was before he even turned around. "Mercedes."

"What are you doing here?" Mercedes practically growled. "I thought you were too cowardly to ever show your face in this town again."

"Mercedes!" Schue tried to intervene.

Finn huffed a sad laugh. "Right. I was just leaving. Don't worry. I won't be back." Finn turned to head for Schue's car.

"You should be in jail for what you did!" Mercedes yelled at his back.

Finn turned around with a growl and Schue had to hold him back. "You don't know what the fuck you're talking about. So stay the fuck out of it!"

"Come on, Finn," Schue said. "Let's get you home. Come on."

"I can't believe you would even speak to _**him**_ ," Mercedes said, turning on Schue.

This time Schue was the one to turn back. "I'll tell you the same thing Finn did. You don't know the whole story, so you should probably refrain from making judgments. You might want to go see Kurt. He's probably at home by now."

"What?" Mercedes asked. "Kurt's here?"

"Go see him," Schue said. "I'm sure he could use a friend. He was in a pretty bad car accident yesterday. And maybe he'll tell you the truth about what really happened five years ago if you ask."

They left Mercedes standing there in the middle of the diner parking lot and got into Schue's car. They were both silent until they were actually on the road out of town.

"Are you okay?" Schue asked.

Finn shrugged. "Yeah. She's not the first person to tell me I should be in jail. Hell, if I was in her place, I'd probably think the same thing."

"If you were in her place, I think you'd have at least listened to both sides of the story before turning on a friend," Schue said. "Finn you are a good guy. You are one of the most caring students to ever pass through my classes. That's how I knew that you didn't do that to Kurt, no matter what everyone else was saying."

Finn swiped angrily at the tears that were falling down his cheeks. "Yeah, I was such a great kid that everyone in town, including my own mother, believed I would rape my step-brother. And five years later, they still believe it."


	3. Chapter 3

It had been their prom night and everyone was in high spirits, literally and figuratively. Puck had snuck in a couple flasks of some pretty hard stuff and they all took turns passing those flasks around. Finn had gone to the prom with Brittany, just as friends. Kurt and Mercedes had done he same, since the school had prohibited any same sex couples and Blaine couldn't come. Quinn and Sam were still together, so they came together. Artie brought Lisa, a sophomore who had joined glee that year. And Mike and Tina were together. It was a fun night, but looking back, Finn realized that he had more than his fair share of the booze. When it was all over and Kurt had driven the girls home, he drove the two of them to their house.

Finn didn't know what made him do it, but instead of going up to his room, he went down to Kurt's room with him. Kurt hadn't had any of Puck's alcohol and was stone cold sober, but he didn't protest at all when Finn kissed him. And when Finn thought to pull away, Kurt was the one who escalated things. It was one night of sex, probably a little rougher than it should have been because of the combination of his inexperience and his inebriation, but it had definitely been consensual on both their parts. Finn could admit to that now, but at the time…

When Finn woke up the next morning and found that he was still in Kurt's bed, he freaked out. He'd been denying feelings for Kurt for years and he still wasn't ready to face those feelings. Finn knew that he had reacted badly. He had done what he always did when his feelings for Kurt got too close to the surface. He struck out at Kurt with hurtful words. Only this time, Kurt shot those words right back at him. It was a hell of an argument. But when Kurt got up in his face, shoving him over and over, Finn lost it.

Looking back after five years, Finn still couldn't believe that he pushed Kurt around like that. He couldn't believe that he held him down on the floor and shook him all while shouting horrid things at him.

He knew that it looked really bad when Burt and his mom found them. He was only half dressed, his pants still unbuttoned and no shirt. Kurt was naked and covered in bruises from the rather rough sex the night before, finger shaped bruises on his hips and thighs and even on his neck. And he suddenly saw that Kurt was afraid. Afraid of him and his temper. (Finn's nightmares were filled with Kurt's scared face for a very long time.) But even with all that overwhelmingly damning evidence against him, he hadn't thought that they would accuse him of raping Kurt.

Things were a bit of blur after that. All he really knew was the Burt jumped to all the wrong conclusions and Kurt never corrected him. That was another thing he would never forget, Kurt watching everything in silence, never denying, never correcting, never saying anything as he stood by like a detached observer. And then he was outside and Burt was shoving a bag of his clothes at him and telling him to get out and never come back. And his mom, crying and…

Five years later and that day was still the worst in his life.

He had stumbled to Puck's house, blind with tears and a soul-deep pain ripping his heart to shreds. Even as he walked, though, he believed that it would get better somehow. He believed that Kurt would set them straight. He believed that his mother would realize her mistake. He believed that his friends would stand up and support him. But as the days passed, none of those things happened. His friends turned on him. His mom brought over a couple more bags of his things and never once said a word to him. And Kurt…

The last days of school had been a nightmare. Somehow everyone seemed to know what happened and they all shunned Finn. It was worse than when he joined glee and lost his popularity. Everyone hated him. Miss Pillsbury finally pulled Finn aside and told him that she had arranged for him to finish his exams from home. She never once looked in his eyes. He knew from Schue that she believed he was innocent, and he was sure she felt bad about basically kicking him out of school, but she said it was for his safety. He'd been getting a lot of death threats.

Finn didn't bother to go to graduation. He spent the day looking for a job.

A couple weeks later, Schue found Finn at the park, totally drunk off his ass and staring at a bottle of prescription pain pills he'd stolen from Puck's mom. He figured that it would at least be a painless way to die. By the time Schue found him, he'd been staring at that pill bottle for more than an hour, even as he swigged cheap bourbon straight from the bottle.

He wasn't really surprised that Schue was there, though he didn't really know how he knew to come. "I can't do it." Finn was crying and his hands were shaking. "I should do it. I want to do it. But I can't."

Schue took the pills and put them in his pocket and then he took the bottle from Finn's unresisting hands. "Finn, I know it doesn't seem like it now, but this is going to get better. Not today, not tomorrow, but someday this is going to be behind you."

Schue had taken Finn back to his apartment and helped him sober up. And the next day he had helped Finn start to figure out what he was going to do with his life.

**FKFKFKFKFK**

Finn stared out his apartment window and cursed the rain. It had been a week since Schue had brought him back from Lima. He'd spent the first two days sleeping. Since then, he had spent as much time on his car as he could. It was a good way to keep his mind off everything. But with the rain today, working on the car was out. His little garage was good for storing the Challenger and his tools but was too small to actually work in. He usually used the drive when he worked on it.

Well, it was only one day. Mitch had moved his run up a couple days and he was scheduled to pick up his first load in the morning. He was ready to get back on the road and away from all this shit. He knew that his problems didn't disappear just because he was in a different state, but he also knew that they seemed less overwhelming when he was behind the wheel of his semi and listening to his music. Everything seemed more bearable then. He wondered sometimes what he would do to clear his mind once he was going to school and hitting the road wasn't an option.

Finn grabbed his cigarettes and lit one. He'd been doing so well with quitting, but since everything with Kurt last week, he was back to a pack a day. He swore and crushed out the butt before it was even half smoked.

"I've got to stop this shit."

Instead of letting the fidgety feeling that always came whenever he even thought about quitting overwhelm him, he went to his bedroom and grabbed a pair of running shorts and his favorite running shoes. A couple miles of running would help. And the rain would be a good thing when he was so hot from running. Finn didn't bother with a t-shirt. He knew it would just be a hindrance. The days when he was ashamed to take off his shirt in public were well behind him. Loading and unloading semis did wonders for building up his muscle tone, and what work didn't do, he made a point to work on in his free time. Even on the road, he tried to find ways to exercise everyday. He had a gym membership at a national chain so he could work out anywhere they had a gym. And if worse came to worse, he often spent a half hour jogging around a rest stop and did sit ups in the bunk in the back of his truck cab.

Finn glanced at his reflection on the way out of the apartment and was pleased to see that he looked pretty good, even if he did drive for a living. His abs were well defined, his arms thick with muscles, and his legs were lean and strong. He was in better shape now than he had been as a senior in high school.

The rain was refreshing as he ran along one of his regular routes and Finn finally felt the tensions of the last week really seep away. Maybe he had discovered how he could cope once he wasn't driving anymore.

By the time Finn got back to his apartment, he was in a great mood. He thought he might call up Morgan and go for drinks that night. Maybe he could at least get laid. It was nice to have friends with benefits. Not that they were great friends, but at least Morgan was fun and didn't expect anything from him other than a good time. In fact, Finn was so set on the idea suddenly that pulled out his phone and was making the call before he could change his mind, even as he took the stairs up to his fourth floor apartment.

"Morgan! Hey, how's it going," Finn asked cheerfully. He smiled at the easy reply and then said, "Well, I was thinking you and I could maybe hook up tonight? I leave for a run tomorrow and…" Finn trailed off as he saw that there was someone standing by his door. "Morgan… I think I'm gonna have to call you back." He disconnected the call without ever taking his eyes off of his visitor. "What are you doing here?"

Kurt leaned heavily against the crutches under his arms and sighed. "I had to see you."

"Why?" Finn asked.

"Because… because there is so much I need to say to you," Kurt said. He shifted his weight and winced. "Um, can we go inside so I can sit down?"

"Oh, um, yeah," Finn sputtered out. "Just let me…" He moved around Kurt carefully as he found his key and opened the door. "Watch out for stuff on the floor." Fin went back out to the hall and grabbed the two bags that were lying there and brought them inside.

Kurt gave a half-hearted snort of laughter as he saw the mess that was Finn's living room. "You're still the biggest slob I've ever met."

"It's a gift," Finn said sheepishly. "Um… just let me… put some clothes on."

Finn went to his bedroom and closed the door behind him and took a deep breath. So much for running away from his troubles for a while—they just chase him down. He stripped off his shorts and shoes and headed for the shower. It only took him five minutes to get clean and pull on a pair of jeans and a clean t-shirt. When he went back out, Kurt was sleeping on his sofa.

Finn just stood there staring for the longest time. Kurt had to be in a lot of pain still. He wondered how his stitches were healing and if his headache was gone. He knew that the cast on his right ankle was probably going to be there for a few weeks and it would hurt for most of them. He wondered how strong Kurt's pain pills were and hoped that they were enough to keep the worst of the pain at bay.

Kurt seemed to shiver and wake himself up. He looked around the room lost for a moment before his eyes found Finn standing across the room. "Sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"I'm guessing it's probably the meds you're on," Finn said. "You should be home in bed."

"Been there, done that," Kurt said with a grimace.

"What does that mean?" Finn asked curiously.

Kurt shook his head. "It means that things were… strained at home. They are both very pissed at me and yet they feel like they have to play nursemaid because I almost got killed after our big fight. Add to that the overwhelming guilt they are drowning in for the way they treated you and you can just imagine how great things were. I couldn't stand being there any more, so I convinced Mercedes to drive me here."

"I still don't get that," Finn said. "Why here?"

"God Finn…"

"If you're going to bring up that night, don't," Finn said. "I don't think about that night and I don't talk about it. I'd just as soon you respect that."

"But I need to tell you—"

"Fuck what you need," Finn said angrily. "Respect my feelings on this or get the fuck out."

Kurt nodded slowly and sighed. "Okay."

"You can stay tonight, but I'm leaving on a run tomorrow," Finn said. "I have to be up and on the road by 6."

"In the morning?" Kurt asked aghast.

"Yeah," Finn said. "So you'll need to figure out where you're going pretty quickly."

"Are you…?"

"Am I what?" Finn asked.

"Are you still going out with that Morgan girl tonight?" Kurt asked.

Finn huffed a dry laugh. "Yeah. I am."

"Oh."

Finn grabbed his wallet, phone and keys off the counter. "There's not much in the fridge, only things that won't go bad while I'm away, but you're welcome to whatever's there. I'll be back later."

Kurt looked like he was going to cry and Finn felt a little guilty, but he refused to let that guilt win. He left the apartment and had Morgan on the phone before he reached the bottom of the stairwell.


	4. Chapter 4

Finn stumbled drunkenly back to his apartment later that night. It was still relatively early, but considering he would have to be up in six hours, it was much later than he should have been getting home. He hadn't forgotten about the unwelcome visitor on his sofa and he wondered if Kurt would still be there when he got home.

Part of the reason Finn was so drunk was directly linked to Kurt. He couldn't seem to stop talking about him. He'd totally blown his chances for sex with Morgan and he'd drowned his troubles in bourbon, something he hadn't done since Schue had sobered him up all those years ago. He still drank the occasional beer, but he avoided the hard stuff. Not tonight though. Morgan had been sympathetic and had even given him a ride home, but there was no way he was getting laid tonight.

Finn stumbled into the apartment and tried to be quiet as he closed the door and made his way to his bedroom, but he wasn't very successful. He tripped over his feet twice and swore once and then the light beside the sofa flicked on and he could see a sleepy Kurt staring at him.

"Shorry," Finn slurred. "I'm juss… gonna go ta bed."

Kurt nodded and watched him go. Finn could feel his eyes on him the entire way and blushed with shame. He sighed in relief when he could close the door behind him. Kurt's stare could still make him feel about two feet tall.

**FKFKFKFKFK**

Finn's alarm went off way too early the next morning. His head felt like it was going to explode and his mouth was filled with cotton… disgusting cotton that had been dragged through mud before being shoved in his mouth. He stumbled out of bed and into his bathroom… only to find that Kurt was there, leaning against the sink and trying to perform his morning moisturizing routine.

"Oh… sorry," Finn muttered.

"It's fine," Kurt said. "I'm just finishing up. I'll go and let you shower."

Finn nodded and watched as Kurt used his crutches to maneuver his way out of the room. Finn watched him go for a long minute before closing the door and turning on the shower. Fifteen minutes later, he was clean and feeling slightly more human. He pulled on jeans and a t-shirt along with his socks and work boots. A quick swipe of deodorant under his arms and a little gel in his hair and he was ready to go.

He grabbed his duffle bag and headed out. He found Kurt sitting on the sofa, his bags at his feet, obviously waiting for Finn. Finn nodded to him and went to the cupboard and grabbed a couple packs of pop tarts and a soda from the fridge. "Ready to go?"

"Yep," Kurt agreed. "Though you should probably eat something more nutritious than… that."

Finn rolled his eyes and grabbed his bag along with both of Kurt's and headed for the door. He held it open for Kurt and then locked up behind him. It wasn't until he was at the top of the stairs that Finn frowned.

"Don't worry, I can slide down on my butt," Kurt said ruefully. "Getting up is a lot harder."

Finn sighed and took Kurt's crutches and headed down the stairs as the other boy carefully sat and scooted on his butt down one stair at a time. He was only half way down the first set of stairs when Finn came back up empty handed.

"You've got two choices: piggyback or over the shoulder," Finn said.

Kurt looked aghast, but he knew that if he didn't choose, Finn would and he'd end up with his ass in the air. "Piggyback."

"Good choice," Finn said and turned around and squatted a little so that Kurt could wrap his arms and lags around Finn. It only took a couple minutes to get down all three flights of stairs and soon Finn was setting him down beside a strange black car. "Climb in and say hi to Mitch, my boss."

Kurt sighed and did as he was told while Finn went back for his crutches and their bags and put them in the trunk. "Um, hi."

"Hi," Mitch said with a smile. "Finn said you needed a ride somewhere?"

"Um… yeah, about that…"

Finn climbed in and closed the door. "So where to, Kurt?"

Kurt smiled warily. "With you."

"Kurt…"

"Finn…"

"I'm going to be on the road for three weeks," Finn said, trying to reason with him. "Your ankle, your stitches… you can't seriously think this is a good idea."

"My ankle's gonna be broken no matter where I am," Kurt said. "I assume you have one of those bed things in the truck where I can put my leg up if I need to. And the doctor said I can go to any clinic and get the stitches removed next week."

"Sounds like he's got you," Mitch said with a laugh.

"Mitch, don't encourage him!" Finn growled. "Kurt you can't go with me."

"Well, I'm not going anywhere else," Kurt said stubbornly. "You won't listen to me, so I'm sticking with you until you will."

"Mitch, tell him he can't go," Finn said to his boss.

"Hell kid," Mitch said. "I try to stay out of couple problems."

Kurt's jaw dropped and Finn blushed. "We aren't a couple."

"Sounds like it to me," Mitch shrugged. "Anyway, having a passenger keeps my drivers more alert. I'm always open to having spouses and… whatever they call you guys who are together… ride along. It even helps the relationship sometimes. Take him with you."

"No," Finn said stubbornly. "He can go home."

"I'm not going back there," Kurt said quietly. "And I have nowhere else to go."

That stopped Finn. "What do you mean?"

Kurt shrugged. "I lost my job. 'Cutbacks' was the excuse, but the truth is my boss was a bitch and hated me from the first day I walked through the door. I gave up my apartment and… Anyway, I have nothing to go back to, and I refuse to go home. You _**know**_ why."

Finn closed his eyes and sighed. God. When was he going to lose this need to protect Kurt? He was the reason Finn's world had been destroyed and yet here he was considering taking him with him on the road for three weeks. "Fuck," Finn muttered. "Fine."

Mitch chuckled and Kurt smiled happily. "Thanks."

"I'm going to regret this," Finn predicted.

**FKFKFKFKFK**

Two hours later, Finn was already regretting it. Kurt hadn't stopped asking questions since they left the depot. "Kurt. I realize that you are excited about going on an adventure, but I would really appreciate a little peace for a while."

"Oh," Kurt looked and sounded hurt. "I'm sorry. Headache?"

"Yes," Finn sighed.

"You shouldn't drink so much," Kurt said primly.

Finn sighed. "I haven't been drunk in five years."

"Five… Oh. Sorry," Kurt seemed to be shrinking into himself. He sat back and was quiet for a few minutes as he stared out the side window.

"Tell me what happened with your job," Finn finally asked. He hated making Kurt feel bad.

"I was working at one of the newer fashion houses in New York," Kurt said. Finn didn't tell him he already knew that. "Anyway, it was a pretty crappy job, but it was in fashion and I thought I'd won the lottery. It turned out it was worse than The Devil Wears Prada. Have you seen that movie?"

"Yeah, a long time ago," Finn admitted. "I think Quinn made me watch the video with her."

"So you know what I mean when I say my boss was a bitch," Kurt said. "But I put up with it because I was able to make some good contacts in the business and I was working on my own designs and it all just seemed like part of the process. But then I made the mistake of letting one of the designers look at my portfolio and she heard about. I was out on my ass the next day.

"I got a call from that designer and he said he thought I had a lot of talent, but he couldn't go against her," Kurt sighed. "She not only fired me, but she blocked all my contacts from helping me get another job in the business in New York."

"That sucks," Finn said.

"Yeah," Kurt sighed. "Well, I decided fuck them all. I'm going to make it, and I'm going to do it on my own terms. So I packed up everything in that shitty little rental car and headed home. But the minute I walked through the door, I new I had made a huge mistake going there."

"Don't go there now," Finn warned.

"Yeah okay," Kurt said. "Anyway, I lost almost everything in the accident. Pretty much the only things I have left are in those two bags."

"Your portfolio?" Finn asked, feeling sick. That was Kurt's life's work.

"Gone," Kurt said, "but I had all of my designs on a flash drive. I can print new copies. If I can ever afford to have them printed."

"At least they aren't totally gone," Finn said. "You never told me how you knew where to find me."

"Mercedes said she saw you with Mr. Schue," Kurt said. "So I went to talk to him. Then I got Mercedes to drive me down. You should have heard her swear when she realized you live on the fourth floor in a building without an elevator. She threatened to just leave me on the sidewalk, but she helped me carry my stuff up and then I made her leave."

"You knew if she was still there I would have made you go with her," Finn said.

"Yeah," Kurt admitted.

"Smart call," Finn said. "Risky, though."

"Yeah," Kurt said with a small smile. "I had to weigh the likelihood that you'd toss out a pitiful cripple on crutches."

"Hardly a cripple," Finn muttered. He didn't want to admit to Kurt, or even to himself, that he probably would have let him in even if he hadn't just been in an accident. Finn always had trouble saying no to Kurt. "Why don't you find some music?"

For the next couple hours, they let the music take over and didn't try to talk about anything important. They had a very long trip ahead of them and there would be plenty of time to get to everything.

**FKFKFKFKFK**

They stopped for lunch at one of Finn's favorite truck stops and Finn realized that lifting Kurt in and out of the truck several times a day with his broken ankle was going to be hell on his libido. Attempting to ignore that knowledge, Finn steered Kurt towards the restroom, and afterward headed for the diner. It didn't take Finn more than five minutes to realize that Kurt stood out like a sore thumb among the burly and not-so-open-minded truckers who frequented that establishment. Hell, Finn didn't really fit in either—he was too young and too good looking—but he was brawny enough that no one ever bothered with him.

"Um, Kurt, no offense, but we're gonna need to butch you up a little," Finn said as he glanced at some of the other patrons.

"Oh really?" Kurt said, very offended. "I don't see…" But he stopped because he did see. There had to be twenty men staring at them and not one of those men was smiling. "Oh. Maybe you're right."

Honestly, Kurt's choice of outfits that day was relatively understated for him, but he was wearing red plaid pants and a long white t-shirt with red handprints on the chest and butt.

"Yeah," Finn said. "There's a small mall up the road half a mile. There's a Walmart and we can get some stuff cheap there. Believe me when I say Walmart fashions will not stand out in the places we're going."

Kurt looked like he wanted to argue, but he knew that Finn was right. He was the one who had insisted on tagging along and he would just have to suck it up and face the consequences of his choice. "Okay. After we eat, we'll hit Walmart."

Finn smiled. He knew how much this offended every bone in Kurt's body, but he also knew that Kurt was too stubborn to give up this soon into the trip.

Half an hour later, Kurt was groaning every time Finn picked up a shirt and held it up for Kurt to approve. "This hurts. This physically hurts."

"I know," Finn said with a sympathetic smile. He held up a light weight blue plaid shirt with pearl snaps that was trimmed with western style piping. "What about this one?"

Kurt sighed. "It'll do." Kurt realized that they didn't have all day to shop. Finn was on a schedule and the more time they wasted at Walmart, the less time they had to get to their destination. Finn had explained that most of his runs gave bonuses for getting there on time or early.

So Kurt sucked up his pride and picked out four more of the western style shirts—a brown and white check, a red plaid, and two solids in black and green—and then picked out a handful of plain t-shirts in various colors. Then he picked out three pairs of jeans in his size, all with legs wide enough to fit over his cast. He made Finn carry everything to the dressing rooms and then tried one of each on and sighed. Between the generic clothing and the crutches, he hadn't looked this depressing since he'd tried to impress his dad in sophomore year. Actually, it wasn't as bad as all that. At least the snap-up shirts were fitted and he bought the t-shirts a little small so they actually fit close as well. He showed Finn and he smiled and nodded his approval.

"Should I get a John Deere ball cap while we're here?" Kurt wondered as he lurched over towards the shoes, unable to completely rein in his sarcasm.

"Nah," Finn said. "I'd hold out for a Skoal hat. Only the best truck stops have them."

Kurt blinked twice and then laughed. "You've gotten better at that."

"I've gotten better at a lot of things," Finn said in a flirtatious tone.

"Really?" Kurt drawled. "Do tell?"

"Nah," Finn said. "We're going to be on the road for a long time. Gotta save some surprises for later."

**FKFKFKFKFK**

Kurt carefully climbed into the back of the cab to change into his new clothes and emerged a few minutes later. Finn had to rein in his need to comment on his appearance. The flirting in the store had been totally out of place and Finn had cursed himself a hundred times while he waited for Kurt to pay for his purchases.

"I can't believe I just got a dozen new shirts, three pairs of jeans, a pair of work boots and a pair of sneakers all for less than what I usually pay for one sweater." Kurt sounded scandalized.

"Yeah, but you look good in anything," Finn said. He cursed himself again and swore he was not going to talk again until he could control what he was saying.

Kurt didn't reply. He just frowned and looked out the window of the truck for a while.

Finn turned on the music and let it and the simplicity of the open road take away his cares and worries. Whatever would happen with Kurt on this trip would happen. Berating himself for flirting or complimenting Kurt was a waste of energy. What was more important than those things was whether or not he was ready to listen to Kurt's explanation. He kept putting it off because he knew that once he heard Kurt's side, he'd want to forgive him. And he didn't feel ready to forgive completely. Flirting was one thing, but forgiveness…

"Morgan isn't a girl," Kurt said, breaking the silence.

"No, he isn't," Finn said evenly. "Neither was Chris, my last boyfriend. Or Charlie, the boyfriend before Chris. Or Matt, the guy before him. Morgan isn't my boyfriend, though. He's just a convenient friend."

Kurt shook his head. "I don't know what to do with that information."

They were both quiet for the next two hundred miles.


	5. Chapter 5

Kurt's first reaction to the news that they were going to have to share the small bunk was to completely deny it. Finn had shrugged and said fine. Kurt could nap in his seat, but Finn needed to sleep. Finn had then proceeded to strip down to his boxers and climb under the covers and turn off the cab light. Kurt had stewed in his seat for almost fifteen minutes before the ache in his ankle and his weariness outweighed his pride. He huffed a little and muttered to himself as he stripped down to his blue bikini briefs and then climbed into the bunk. Finn had held up the blankets and Kurt sighed. There was no way to fit in the bunk together other than to spoon and before long Finn had his arms wrapped around Kurt.

Kurt lay there for almost ten minutes, tension keeping him awake despite being exhausted. Then he heard Finn snoring lightly and he gave a sad little laugh at his stupidity. Of course Finn didn't want him. Whatever chance they might have had once he had ruined. Kurt drifted off to sleep with that very depressing thought.

When he woke up again, he knew two things right off. One, Finn was no longer in the bunk with him. And two, the truck was moving. It took a moment or two for Kurt's eyes to adjust, but when they did, he realized that it was still quite dark. "What time's it?"

"Still really early," Finn said. "You should sleep longer."

Kurt yawned and stretched. "I don't think I can. Maybe later." He found his clothes and began pulling them on. Soon he had climbed back into his seat. He looked at the clock on his phone and saw that it was only a little after three in the morning. "How long have you been up, and why are you up so early?"

"It has to do with the safety laws for truckers," Finn said. "We can only drive 12 hours before we have to take 6 off. In those twelve hours, we can stop the clock for food and fuel stops. Well, we left at 7am yesterday. And we had about two hours of stops, so that put us at 9 last night for our rest period. I slept for five and a half of those rest hours, then I went to the rest area to exercise a little, clean up, grab some strong coffee and I had us back on the road by three. We're a little behind schedule, so I'll try to keep our stops to about an hour total today. That puts us at 4 this afternoon for our next rest break."

Kurt looked incredulous. "And you do this for three weeks? Never getting more than six hours of sleep?"

"Nah," Finn said. "We'll have some time in Oregon when we get there. We'll get a hotel for a couple nights before we have to come back."

"Oregon," Kurt said. "Don't we stop in Phoenix and San Diego first?"

"Yeah, but those are total trailer changes," Finn said. "We unhitch this trailer, hitch up another and we're on our way again. In Oregon, we have to unload and the reload the trailer."

"We? As in, you?" Kurt asked. "Aren't there dock workers or something for that?"

Finn glanced at Kurt and said, "Sometimes, but it's part of my job. I've had to unload an entire load by my lonesome on more than one occasion."

"God, Finn, this is a really sucky way to make a living," Kurt said. He was feeling guilt eat away at him. If he hadn't done what he had done, Finn would have gone to school and would be working in his dad's shop.

"It's not so bad," Finn disagreed. "I get to see the country and meet all sorts of interesting people. And the money is pretty good for the long hauls like this. Besides, this is going to be my last run until next summer. I'm going to take classes to get my associates degree in business and my mechanic's certification. I've been saving up so I can go without having to take a bunch of loans or work the whole time. Mitch said he'll line up a few runs for me next summer, so I'll be able to get a little extra cash to tide me over."

Finn knew that Kurt was feeling guilty, and a part of him wanted to tell the other man that it wasn't his fault, but the truth was it was Kurt's fault. And Burt's and his mom's… and his own fault too. They were all to blame.

**FKFKFKFKFK**

It didn't take long for Kurt to get very, very bored. The first day had been a novelty. The second day was still a little interesting as they passed places Kurt had only ever seen on maps. On the third day, he watched movies almost all day on Finn's portable DVD player. By noon on the fourth day, Kurt was going mad with boredom.

"Talk to me," Kurt demanded.

"About what?" Finn asked with some amusement. He'd seen Kurt growing more and more restless as the day had gone on.

"Anything," Kurt said. "Anything to take my mind off the fact that every time I close my eyes I can still see the road behind my eyelids."

"Tell me about college," Finn said. "You went to the Fashion Institute of New York, right?"

"Right," Kurt said slowly. "How did you know that?"

Finn shrugged. "Schue."

"You and Mr. Schuester really have been close over the years," Kurt said.

"He saved my life," Finn said quietly. "So yeah, we're pretty close. We usually talk a couple times a month and we email or text more often. He and Puck really are the only real friends I have."

"I'm sorry," Kurt said. He couldn't help himself.

"Kurt, don't," Finn said.

"Yeah, okay," Kurt sighed. "School. Well, it was a lot different than high school, that's for sure. Gay men outnumbered the straight men 10 to 1. At first I thought that was great, and then I realized I was at a school with a hundreds of men exactly like me."

"That's scary," Finn said.

Kurt snorted. "Tell me about it. Classes were great, though, and I loved living in the city at first, so that was good too."

"Only at first?" Finn asked.

"Yeah," Kurt said. "It gets tiring trying to keep up with the pace of life there. I mean, everything seems to be at top speed and there's always a hundred things to do. It just got to the point where I got fed up with it all. I liked the conveniences, but…"

"I've spent time in a lot of different cities," Finn said. "New York always seemed to be the one place that I could never be comfortable."

"Really?" Kurt asked. "I didn't realize you do runs to New York. Huh."

Finn didn't feel the need to tell him that he'd never driven a load to New York. The three times he had gone were for Kurt's fashion shows in his sophomore, junior and senior years. He still didn't know what had possessed him to fly out for the first one, let alone the second and third. He'd spent a small fortune and wasted three days each time to go to a half hour show where he saw Kurt from a distance for a total of three minutes at the end. He'd seen his mom and Burt at the last one, but he'd gotten out before they could see him. He'd stayed an extra day that time because one of the ladies he was sitting by had an extra ticket for the graduation the next day. He hadn't even told Schue about those trips.

"Anyway, I did pretty well in school," Kurt said. "And I can sew like a pro. I suppose if worse comes to worst, I could open a tailor shop."

"You're going to make it big with your designs," Finn said. "But who says you have to do that in New York? I mean, aren't we a global society now? With internet and technology and all that stuff, you could start selling your clothes without ever even opening a shop. You could be anywhere in the world for that, right?"

Kurt laughed. "You're right. There's absolutely no reason I can't start producing my own clothes and selling them online."

**FKFKFKFKFK**

It was about three in the morning the day after they left Phoenix on their way to San Diego and Kurt was wide awake, singing softly along with Finn's playlist of favorite old glee songs. Finn had been thinking for days about everything. He knew he still wasn't ready to listen to Kurt's side of things, but he thought he might be ready to tell Kurt his side of things. The darkness of the night and the empty desert highways seemed to be made for sharing one's deepest secrets.

Finn reached out and shut off the music and Kurt looked over at him. Finn took a deep breath. "When Burt threw me out and mom did nothing… I thought my whole life was over. Even our friends had turned on me. I couldn't believe that anyone would think I would do that to anyone, let alone to you. But they did. They all did."

"Finn…"

"No, I need to tell you this and I need you to just listen," Finn said quietly. "I'm still not ready to hear what you have to say, but I'm getting there. This is part of getting there."

Kurt swallowed and nodded. "Okay. I'll listen."

"Thank you," Finn said. "So yeah, I went to Puck's mostly because I knew that he had my back no matter what. But I kept expecting that I'd wake up and find that it was all just a horrible nightmare. I kept hoping that they'd remember that I'm not like that, that I'm not a rapist. But it never happened. And then the school told me not to come back. They said it was for my safety, but it was obvious that even the teachers believed that I was guilty. The whole fucking town thought I was guilty.

"I started drinking a lot," Finn said. "Puck always had some good connections for getting booze and I took advantage. I spent the day of our graduation trying to find a job, any job, but no one was gonna hire the kid who raped his step-brother. That night I went back to Puck's house and got wasted and stayed wasted for the next week.

"And when I hit rock bottom…" Finn paused. "I found a bottle of old pain pills in Mrs. Puckerman's bathroom and I pocketed them. I grabbed a full bottle of some cheap bourbon from the stash Puck had and walked to the park. I was drinking to work up the courage to take those pills but Mr. Schuester found me before I did. I'd already finished half the bottle of bourbon and I was a mess. He took the pills away and then he got rid of the booze and he took me home with him."

Finn paused to light a cigarette. He'd been doing really well about not smoking with Kurt around. He'd only smoked a couple times and only when they were at a rest stop and he could be out of the cab and away from Kurt. But right then he needed the comfort that the familiar habit gave him.

"Sorry," Finn said as he rolled down the window.

"It's… fine," Kurt said.

"Thanks," Finn said. "Anyway, Schue helped me get cleaned up. He helped me see that drinking myself to death or killing myself with pills was not the answer. He helped me figure out what it would take for me to get into the courses I needed to take to become a mechanic. And then he helped me find a way to earn the money to do it. It's taken me five years, but I'm about to get what I worked so hard for and I have him to thank for it."

"He's a good man," Kurt said softly. "And he always did like you."

"He used to say I reminded him of him when he was younger," Finn said with a weak smile. "I remind him of that sometimes and ask when he's going to come out of the closet."

"Is he…?" Kurt asked though his voice was thick with unshed tears

Finn gave a small chuckle. "No way. But he's fun to tease. He doesn't get all uptight about it." He was quiet for a minute before he continued. "My life has sucked for a very long time, Kurt. I may not have been suicidal since that summer, but I wasn't happy either. It took me a long time to come to grips with my sexuality and it took me even longer to figure out how to be content with my lot in life. But I haven't been happy, not one single day, since that night. You need to understand that. I'm not trying to be an ass and hold all this over your head. I'm honestly trying to figure out how to reconcile all this in my head and in my heart. But until I can do that, I can't… I can't listen to your side of the story and I can't forgive you. Do you understand?"

Kurt was crying silently, tears streaming down his face as he said hoarsely, "Yeah. I understand."

Finn tossed his cigarette butt out the window and turned the music back on. They were both silent until the sun was high in the sky.


	6. Chapter 6

One of the ways Kurt kept himself occupied during the long stretches of travel was to work on sketches for design ideas he had. Finn had never known that Kurt could draw at all, but it was pretty obvious after a while that he was very good. Finn had seen Kurt's clothes, but never the drawings he used for his designs. That was why he asked Kurt if he could look at his sketch book over lunch when they stopped on the road between San Diego and Portland.

"These are all really good," Finn said. "But why don't you draw clothes for men? I mean, these are all for women, right?"

Kurt opened his mouth to answer but realized he didn't really have an answer. "I'm not really sure. I guess at school everything seemed to revolve around women's fashion because women tend to be more open to cutting-edge designs than men are. But… there's not really a good reason."

"See, I think you should design stuff that you'd like to wear," Finn said. "I mean, that's what I'm doing with my car. Instead of going out and just buying some flashy car, I'm building the car that _**I**_ want."

"Really?" Kurt asked with interest. "What kind of car?"

"A 1972 Dodge Rallye Challenger," Finn said. "With a 426 Hemi…. Sorry. I forget you aren't in to all this stuff."

Kurt shrugged. "I did spend a lot of time at the garage growing up. Are you using all Mopar parts?"

Finn grinned and said, "Yeah." And then they were off on a discussion of Mopar vs. K&N filters.

**FKFKFKFKFK**

It wasn't until later that afternoon that Kurt brought up something that had obviously been on his mind for a while. "How exactly did you finally figure out that you are gay?"

Finn glanced at Kurt before returning his attention to the road. "Well, after what we did, it was pretty clear that I wasn't exactly straight. But… I was scared. No, I was terrified of being gay."

"Why?" Kurt asked.

"Because I'd watched the shit you went through for years," Finn said, "and because people had certain expectations of what I was and what I could be. I was afraid of stepping out of the boundaries. It had been hard enough joining glee. I wasn't sure I could handle being any more different."

"What changed?" Kurt asked.

"Everything," Finn said quietly. "I lost everything and suddenly it wasn't so scary. The absolute worst thing that I could imagine had happened and I survived. Coming out seemed easy compared to that."

"Oh," Kurt said quietly.

Finn cleared his throat. "I know that's not exactly what you were hoping to hear."

"No, it's fine," Kurt said. "It's the truth."

"Yeah," Finn said. "But there's more to the story."

"What's the rest of the story?" Kurt asked, hoping it had less to do with him than the first part did.

"Well, part of what I talked about with Schue when he was getting me sober and helping me plan out my life were the feelings I'd been having. He helped me understand a lot and gave me some things to read that helped too," Finn said. "Even so, I didn't really think about acting on any of those feelings for a long time. I mean, at first I was too busy trying to learn everything I needed to learn to get my CDL and Findlay is hardly better than Lima when it comes to a gay social scene. I was surrounded by truckers, and while I have discovered some other gay men on the road, there aren't many and we all keep a pretty low profile."

"So how did you finally start dating?" Kurt asked.

"I moved to Columbus," Finn said. "Mitch was my supervisor in Findlay and he got promoted to run the Columbus hub. He asked me to come with him, so I did. The first thing I did when I got there was look up gay bars on the internet." Fin chuckled at a memory. "It was summer break and Puck had come to help me move. I made him go with me because I was so nervous. God… that night was… I don't think Puck talked to me for a month after that, but it was one of the best nights of my life."

Kurt chuckled at the thought of Puck in a gay bar. "What happened?"

"Well, in order to get him to come along, I had to promise to protect him," Finn said. "I'm not really sure how he thought that was going to work, but he stood by the bar all night while I was dancing with one guy after another. Every time some guy would hit on Puck, he'd say he was with me. Unfortunately for Puck, he timed that whole line wrong one time and just as he said that he was with me and pointed to me on the dance floor, I started making out with whatever guy I with at the moment."

"Oh god," Kurt laughed. "What did Puck do?"

"He stormed onto the dance floor like a jealous boyfriend and dragged me away," Finn said. "I smiled at the guy I had just been dancing with but he was a little pissed by that point. We went back to my apartment and Puck swore at me the entire way. But that night showed me that I could be okay. After that I never tried to force Puck to go with me. He has gone with me a few times since then, but he doesn't use me as cover anymore."

"I bet after he got past freaking out he liked being hit on all night," Kurt said with a knowing smirk.

"I think you're right," Finn said. "Women are never quite as aggressive as men."

"Do you ever date women now?" Kurt wondered.

"No," Finn said. "I mean, I think occasionally that one is really hot, but I don't really want to be with her. Women are… I never understood what the big deal about sex was until I had sex with y– a guy."

"I made out with Brittany that one time," Kurt said. "I think I know what you mean. The first time Blaine and I kissed, I knew that it was a lot different, a lot better."

Finn was quiet for a moment. "What ever happened to Blaine?"

Kurt got a sad smile, "I told him what happened, the truth. He was the only person I told. He… he was hurt and angry and disappointed. Not only had I cheated, but I let everyone think… because I was too afraid to speak up. Sorry. I know you don't want to hear all that." He cleared his throat. "Anyway, we broke up. Everyone thought it was because we were going to different colleges, but it wasn't. One more thing I lied about."

They were both really quiet for a while. Finally Finn couldn't stand the quiet any more. "What about other boyfriends since then? Anyone serious?"

"I lived with a guy for a while before I left New York," Kurt said. "He wanted… more than I could give him. It was just one more reason to leave New York. Before Jeffery there were a handful of others, none very serious. And of course the occasional dance floor grope that turns into a one night stand."

"I've had a few of those," Finn said.

"Was Chris or Charlie or Matt serious?" Kurt asked.

Finn hesitated. "Not really. Chris wanted to be but he couldn't stand the time I spent on the road. He was always convinced I was cheating on him while I was gone."

"Did you?" Kurt asked.

"No," Finn said. "I had opportunities but I never did. Every time something like that came up, I'd think about how horrible it felt when Rachel and Quinn cheated on me. I don't think I can do that to anyone else."

"Did you tell him that?" Kurt asked.

"I did," Finn said. "But it wasn't enough. Mostly because I think he could tell I wasn't in love with him. I mean, I cared about him, but… I suppose it was a good thing he broke it off."

"How long were you together?" Kurt wondered.

Finn had to think about that. "We met at Morgan's Easter bash last year, and we broke up last month, so a little over a year."

"Jeffery and I were together for almost two years and I don't think I ever really loved him," Kurt said quietly. "I wanted to, but…"

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Finn said. "I wonder sometimes if it's even possible to really love someone."

"It is," Kurt said with a quiet confidence.

Finn wanted to ask how he could be sure, but was afraid to know the answer. So instead he turned on the music and let the road soothe him for a while.

**FKFKFKFKFK**

"So this is Portland Oregon," Kurt said as he looked at the buildings as they passed through the heart of the city late at night. "Not very impressive in the dark."

"Nothing is impressive this late at night," Finn said. "Except maybe Manhattan. Everywhere else in the country tends to go to bed and shut out the lights."

Kurt chuckled. "God, I'm tired. And I'm not the one who has been driving for twelve days straight."

"Well, we'll go to the terminal and detach the trailer and then go get that hotel I promised," Finn said.

"Thank god," Kurt sighed. "A real bed with a bathroom and shower, not to mention the television. It's a good thing all my shows are in summer reruns right now or we'd have some problems."

Finn laughed. "Haven't you ever streamed episodes you missed?"

"Not three weeks worth," Kurt said. "It would take forever."

"Not forever," Finn said. "But it's a nice way to relax after a long run."

It actually took almost two hours to get the load logged and the trailer unhitched. Kurt was rather surprised that there were so many people up and working in the middle of the night, but Finn explained that most of the terminals worked on a three shift system to keep things moving 24 hours.

By the time they actually made it to the hotel and checked in, it was already 2 in the morning and the hotel only had one-bed rooms. Neither man was particularly picky about the fact that they would have to share a king sized bed. After sharing the bunk for almost two weeks, a king sized bed seemed like a luxury. Almost as soon as they got into the room, they were both stripped down to their underwear and asleep.

**FKFKFKFKFK**

Despite the fact that they actually went to sleep on opposite sides of the bed, somehow they ended up gravitating towards each other in their sleep and when Kurt woke late the next morning, they were completely wrapped up in each other's arms. It was the first time that he had woken up before Finn since they had left Columbus. It was like he knew subconsciously when he had to wake up and when he could sleep in.

Instead of rushing to get up and get showered, Kurt just lay there enjoying the comforting warmth of having another man's arms around him. That was one thing he really missed.

When Finn finally came awake, the sun was high in the sky and streaming through the cracks between the curtains, but Kurt was still lying in his arms. Finn took a deep breath and smiled as he smelled the familiar scent of Kurt. It was a combination of whatever spicy shampoo and fruity body wash he used everyday and the musk that was pure Kurt. He liked smelling him every morning when he woke up.

Finn's morning wood, which had been getting more and more insistent each morning that he woke with Kurt in his arms, was crying out for him to do something, but he ignored it in favor of just holding Kurt. He knew that Kurt was awake. His breathing when he slept was very distinctive.

"I can take care of that for you," Kurt finally said in a very quiet and cautious voice. Finn swallowed hard. The temptation to accept was almost overwhelming. "No strings attached. Just… just physical release." And then he pressed his ass back into Finn's cock and any will to resist Finn might have had was stripped away.

"God yes," Finn groaned. No sooner had he spoken than Kurt was turning around and pushing Finn onto his back. Kurt kissed him, his body half draped over Finn's, until they were both panting with need. And then Kurt began planting kisses down Finn's neck and shoulders, down his chest, paying close attention to his sensitive nipples and on to his abdomen where the muscles rippled with every kiss, lick and nip. He reached the waistband of Finn's boxers and he sat up so he could pull them down.

"You too," Finn said, reaching for Kurt's briefs. Kurt smiled and shifted so that he could remove his own underwear. Finn shuffled down the bed a bit and when Kurt took his cock into his mouth, Finn groaned and then reciprocated.

It was fast and furious, both men having been deprived of any sort of release for more than a week. It was tough to find time and privacy to jerk off when you were sharing a tiny truck cab with another person. But now… now they were free to indulge and indulge they did. Five years of experience on both sides made a huge difference and Kurt almost came on the spot the first time Finn swallowed him down his throat. In fact the tonguing and teasing and humming and swallowing all began to blur together as they raced towards completion.

Kurt came first and had to pull back from Finn's cock as his orgasm overwhelmed him. Finn continued to lick and suck, swallowing everything, until Kurt had to pull away. Kurt looked at Finn with a satisfied smile before going back to work on Finn's cock. It didn't take long for Finn to come once Kurt massaged his ball and used a finger to tease his hole while he continued his expert blow job.

Once it was all over, Finn pulled Kurt into his arms and they both just lay there staring at the ceiling for long minutes, unsure how this change was going to affect things.

"I know this doesn't mean you've forgiven me," Kurt said. "But… I'd like to do this again."

Finn chuffed a small laugh. "I can't say I object. God that was great."


	7. Chapter 7

Finn dropped Kurt off at a laundromat to wash their clothes while he went to the terminal to deal with the cargo exchange. Since the terminal was well manned and the cargo on pallets, it didn't take long at all for Finn to get the trailer emptied and then reloaded. Soon enough, he was back to pick up Kurt and he took him to the local clinic to get his stitches out. Afterward they headed back to the hotel.

"I was thinking we could go to dinner and maybe go to a bar that I found the last time I was here," Finn said. "You can even wear your designer clothes at this bar."

"Really?" Kurt asked with excitement. "Oh! I'll have to iron something. And I'm going to need at least an hour to shower and get ready."

"We have time," Finn said.

Finn found himself watching Kurt's routine with fondness over the next couple hours. Not a lot had changed in the last five years. Kurt still liked to look his best at all times. Even on the road he had tried to keep up with his cleaning and moisturizing routines, though they usually had to be done in the truck cab. And showers were not always accessible. But he had put up with all that without complaint. But now that he had the time and facilities to indulge himself, Kurt was taking full advantage.

Eventually, however, Kurt was dressed in one of his favorite pairs of black stretch jeans—carefully maneuvered over his cast—and an extra-long white t-shirt with a wide v-neck. He had one of his favorite red scarves around his neck, two skinny red belts wrapped around his waist and one red boot on his healthy foot. He looked like the Kurt Finn was used to, plus crutches. Finn, on the other hand was dressed very simply in clean black jeans and a black t-shirt that showed off his hard earned muscles.

Dinner was nice. Kurt was delighted by the fact that they didn't have to eat greasy truck stop food for a change. They took a cab to a great seafood place right down by the water and Kurt was impressed by how fantastic the food was. Finn had apparently been to the place a few times because he knew exactly what he wanted as soon as they sat down, but Kurt had fun reading through all the choices. They talked about anything and everything as they enjoyed the food and the atmosphere. But when Finn looked at Kurt with something other than friendship in his eyes, suddenly their simple evening out felt an awful lot like a date.

The bar was on the waterfront as well, only a few doors down, and it didn't take long to get there even with Kurt on his crutches. There were actually several rooms in the bar and Finn took to them to a cabaret style room first. They found a small table and they spent the first hour or so watching the cabaret show. During a break, Finn suggested they go to the dance club and Kurt agreed. Even as they made their way through the maze of tables, Kurt wondered if Finn was any better at dancing now than he had been as a teen.

It didn't take Kurt long to realize that no, he really wasn't any better of a dancer. But he was a lot less self-conscious than he used to be and that went a long way towards allowing him to relax and enjoy himself even if he was horrible. Despite his obvious handicap, Kurt found himself laughing and having a great time just because Finn was doing the same. They must have made quite the sight with Kurt on crutches and Finn… being Finn. Eve so, there were a couple times when someone would try to cut in to dance with one or the other of them, but Finn would always politely tell them they weren't interested. Kurt wasn't sure what that meant, but he wasn't complaining.

**FKFKFKFKFK**

Before it could get too late, Finn had the bartender call them a cab. They had an early start in the morning and really couldn't afford to be out dancing all night. The ride back to the hotel was long and Finn had to be touching Kurt the entire way. He wasn't sure what had come over him, but he wanted to enjoy the evening. He wanted to pretend, even if for only one night, that all of their problems and history didn't exist and that they were just two people who really liked each other spending time together.

They were quiet, aware of the cab driver's presence the entire trip, but that didn't stop Finn from letting the hand that was resting on Kurt's knee to slide slowly higher. His thumb drew small circles as his pinky teased, only millimeters from Kurt's quickly hardening cock. Kurt let out a small gasp of pleasure from the contact. He wanted to push Finn's hand away. He wanted to pull Finn's hand closer and make him rub and stroke and just fucking touch him already. But he didn't do either. Instead, he rested his head on Finn's shoulder and bit his lip to keep from making any more noise that might draw the driver's attention.

Finn smiled in the darkness and let his hand go back to wandering, stroking Kurt's thigh, teasing him, until he finally, finally, let the side of his hand brush lightly against Kurt's cock. Kurt shifted so he could bite Finn's shoulder rather than let loose the moan that wanted to escape. Finn took that as encouragement and cupped Kurt's cock and applied some serious pressure.

"Seriously not fair," Kurt whispered into Finn's ear.

Finn gave him a wicked grin and leaned over to capture Kurt's lips in a heated kiss that might have gone on all night if the driver hadn't cleared his throat rather loudly and pointedly. Finn pulled away and saw they were at the hotel.

"Right, sorry," Finn said and he quickly pulled out his wallet to pay the man while Kurt climbed from the car, using his crutches to balance as he attempted to adjust his shirt to hide his raging hard-on. Finn didn't bother to even try as he climbed from the car. He pulled Kurt into his arms and kissed him deeply even as the taxi drove away in a hurry. "Let's go inside."

"Inside, yeah," Kurt agreed breathlessly. Finn swept Kurt into his arms and carried him to their room. As soon as the door closed behind them, Kurt dropped the crutches he had been carrying and Finn carefully laid Kurt on the bed before going to his bag on the dresser. Kurt watched as Finn pulled out a box of condoms and a brand new tube of lube. He wondered if Finn had stopped at the store when he was out that morning.

"Is this okay?" Finn asked as he set the supplies on the bedside table.

"More than," Kurt said and grabbed Finn's hand. He pulled the taller man down to him and soon they were kissing again and moving against each other. Slowly Finn began to undress Kurt, belts were unbuckled and discarded. Then he slid his t-shirt up, kissing every inch of skin that was revealed, paying special attention to his navel and then each nipple until Kurt had curled his fingers in Finn's hair and was pressing him closer, silently demanding more. When Finn sat back and smiled down at Kurt with a silly but infinitely happy smile, Kurt could feel his whole world turn upside down.

Finn removed Kurt's shirt over his head and then began unbuttoning his jeans. Kurt's hand stopped him before he could get more than the top button undone. "You first."

Finn nodded and stood up. It was strange, but the looks they were sharing were somehow even more intense and intimate than physical contact. Finn took his time as he pulled his shirt over his head. He sat to remove his boots and socks, but then he stood again to remove his jeans. And the entire time he was watching Kurt watch him with his beautiful eyes dark with lust. Finn popped the buttons on his fly one by one until his jeans were only held up by the tightness around his muscular thighs. Slowly, ever so slowly, he pushed them down, his boxers going along at the same time.

When he was totally naked for Kurt, Finn said huskily, "Like what you see?"

Kurt gave a strangled laugh, "Oh god, you have no idea."

Finn smiled, "I think maybe I do. Your turn."

"Yeah," Kurt agreed and lay back as Finn went to work unlacing and removing Kurt's red boot and then his matching red sock. When that was done, he climbed back on the bed, and knelt by Kurt's waist and reached for the zip of Kurt's fly again. Slowly he worked the zip open and then let his hand touch the skin that was bared.

"Commando," Finn said with a smile. "I had wondered."

"In these pants, any underwear would show," Kurt said, his voice husky with need. "Enough talk about my clothes. Get them off and then get up here and kiss me."

Finn was happy to comply and peeled the jeans off of Kurt. When they were both naked, he stretched out over Kurt, being careful of his cast, and aligned their cocks even as he claimed Kurt's mouth in a deeply sensual kiss that stole both their breaths away. Soon they were rocking together as they continued the explorations of each other's mouths. Kurt's hands were all over Finn's back and his legs shifted until they were wrapped around him, the cast weighing heavy against the back of Finn's thigh.

"Want you in me," Kurt said as he tore his mouth from Finn's. Finn's only response was to groan with desire. He stretched his long arm over to the table and reached for the lube. He was slightly distracted when Kurt's mouth latched onto his neck. He claimed Kurt's mouth again in a fierce kiss and then had to force himself to pull away and sit up. He knelt between Kurt's legs and Kurt draped his legs over his thighs even as he stroked his cock and watched Finn intently.

Finn made quick work of preparing Kurt. It had been a very long time since either of them had been virgins and the need for extended preparations were behind them. Finn sometimes liked to linger until his partner was a writhing mass of need beneath him, but not tonight. Tonight, he needed to be inside of Kurt as much as he knew Kurt needed him to be there. Once he was lubed properly, Finn reached for the condom and ripped the packet open. It took only seconds before he was ready. He lifted Kurt's legs over his shoulders and lined up.

"Last chance to back out," Finn murmured looking into Kurt's lust-filled eyes.

Kurt smirked at Finn and instructed, "Fuck me."

Finn carefully but forcefully entered Kurt, making them both moan with the complete and utter rightness of the moment. There was no time to adjust, but there was no real need. Finn withdrew a little and thrust in again and again they both moaned in shared pleasure. Soon they were lost in the rhythmic cycle of thrust/retreat. Finn bent forward, glad that Kurt was still so flexible, and kissed him deeply. When he pulled away, he increased both the speed and the force of his thrusts. Kurt's eyes were wild with need as Finn grabbed his hand they began to stroke his cock tightly together.

When they came it was almost simultaneously, something neither of them had ever experienced before. It was like their bodies were so in sync that one could not come without the other. The intensity of their orgasms was go great that Finn was sure he blacked out for a moment and he knew that Kurt's eyes rolled back into his head and his entire body trembled.

Finn was careful when he withdrew and helped Kurt put his hurt foot back to the bed. He disposed of the condom and grabbed a wet cloth to clean up Kurt's chest and abdomen. He was gentle and considerate and by the time he had returned to the bed the second time, Kurt was almost asleep. Finn smiled and curled up behind Kurt in the position that was quickly becoming a habit.

"Finn?" Kurt said sleepily.

"Yeah?" Finn's voice was soft and his breath tickled Kurt's neck.

"That night?" Kurt said and he felt Finn tense. "That was the best sex I ever had, before or since, until tonight."

Finn closed his eyes and took a ragged breath before letting it out slowly. "Me too."

After that, there wasn't anything else to say.


	8. Chapter 8

Finn had them up and on the road at an ungodly hour the next morning, but Kurt was starting to get used to the weird hours Finn kept when he was driving. They went and hitched up the trailer before heading out of town. Their next scheduled stop was Chicago, though it would take about three days to get there.

Somehow they found a way to ignore the fact that they had sex. It took effort on both their parts but soon they were back to the routine that they had established before Portland. Kurt would draw or watch some DVD for a while. Then they both listened to music. Sometimes they talked, but most of the time, they let the road or other things outside themselves keep them from examining anything too deeply with each other or within their own thoughts.

When the time came for them to take their rest, Kurt debated whether he should join Finn for the first time since that very first night. It only took a few seconds to come to the same conclusion he had that night: cuddling awkwardly was better than an aching ankle and no sleep.

Neither of them planned it but as soon as Finn wrapped his arms around Kurt, it was like they were back in that hotel room and their need was unbearable. In less than five minutes, Kurt was riding Finn, one hand pressed to Finn's chest and one against the roof of the cab for balance. Finn's hands were gripping his hips tightly as he helped Kurt keep up the pace. There would be finger shaped bruises there before morning, but neither of them cared.

When it was all over, Finn used his dirty t-shirt to clean them both up and tossed the used condom into the bag they used for garbage. That night, Kurt slept on top of Finn, curled up like a kitten.

Finn was awake and had them on the road again by two in the morning. Kurt knew when he got out of the bunk, but for the first time he slept on for a while after Finn left him. Finn had tucked the blankets around him before he'd gone to the rest area's bathroom and cleaned up a bit.

Once he was driving, Finn had time and solitude to finally think about everything that had happened since returning from his last run. He knew that he was going to forgive Kurt. He'd known that from the moment he found him leaning on his crutches outside his door. Hell, he'd known from the day of the prom that if Kurt ever came out and apologized he would forgive him. He'd known it because he had been in love with Kurt since the day he had thrown a slushy on himself. And nothing Kurt had done had changed that, nothing Finn had tried to do to get him out of his heart had changed that, and he didn't think anything ever _could_ change that.

The real question now was could he forgive Burt and his mom. He recalled a conversation he'd had with Schue not long after he'd found Finn in the park. Schue had asked how long he was going to hang on to his anger. Finn had said forever. Schue had looked infinitely saddened by that answer and he'd said, "I'm sorry for you then. Because that kind of anger hurts you more than it hurts them."

Since then, Finn had thought he'd put that anger behind him, but obviously he hadn't. His response to Burt at the hospital made that very clear.

"What are you thinking about so hard," Kurt asked from the bunk and Finn wondered how long he had been lying there just watching him.

"Your dad and my mom," Finn said. "And you."

Kurt was quiet for a moment and then said, "I think I need to be dressed for this conversation."

Finn chuckled, and the mood lightened a little. A few minutes later, after much shuffling and swearing, Kurt climbed into his seat in the front of the cab and buckled up. He turned his full attention to Finn.

"You settled?" Finn asked with amusement.

"All set," Kurt said with exaggerated dignity. "Go ahead whenever you're ready."

"As I was saying, I was thinking about your dad and my mom," Finn said, his voice getting more serious as he spoke. "And I can't decide how I feel about trying to start over with them. What they did hurt even more than what you did, if that makes sense?"

"Yeah," Kurt said quietly. "I can't imagine how I would have survived if I had been I your place. It's one thing for a boyfriend to hurt you, and another thing altogether for your parents to think the worst of you without ever hearing your side of things."

"Yeah," Finn said. "But at the same time, Schue told me once that hanging on to that kind of anger and resentment would hurt me more than it would them. I believe him."

"So what are you going to do?" Kurt asked quietly.

"The first thing I'm going to do is listen to what you have to tell me," Finn said. "I think it's about time I let you tell your side of the story."

Kurt was silent for a long time as he thought about that and how exactly he wanted to say what needed to be said.

"Well, first of all, I am so sorry for letting you go through everything you went through," Kurt said.

"Tell me what happened," Finn said quietly and reached out for Kurt's hand. Kurt took his hand and he was bolstered by the squeeze Finn gave him before putting both hands back on the wheel.

"Okay," Kurt said. "I guess the first thing I should tell you is that I was so in love with you that I couldn't see straight. From the moment I first laid eyes on you, I loved you. Even when you tormented me, before glee, I knew that there was something different about you, something that I knew meant that you could be so much more than what everyone else could see. It was the little things, like the fact that you let me protect my designer clothes from dumpster dumps, or the fact that you were the only other kid I knew whose parent had died. I mean, there were a lot of kids whose parents were divorced, but that's different. But it was more than just that stuff. The more I got to know you after you joined glee, the more I loved you. You were always the sweetest boy I've ever known."

Kurt took a deep breath and went on. "When Dad and Carole first got together and you guys moved in the first time, I pushed you way too far, so when they got married and you guys came back, I knew I had to give up on any hope of ever having you . I gave up, Finn, and I tried to move on. I went to Dalton and then started dating Blaine. And even thought I came back to McKinley, I kept things going with Blaine. And I tried to love him, I really did. But I couldn't.

"And then prom night came and I wasn't allowed to bring him and there was a part of me that was relieved by that," Kurt said. "I didn't want him there. And after, when you followed me to my room, I knew why I didn't want him there. And for a few hours it felt like I had gotten every wish I had ever wished."

"And then I woke up and freaked out on you," Finn said with no small measure of discomfiture.

"Yeah," Kurt sighed. "I was so angry. Not just at you, but at me. Because I had worked so hard to get over you and then you crook your little finger and all that hard work went to hell. So, yeah, I was pissed and I pushed and pushed until you had no choice but to push back. And a part of me was glad that you were finally pushing back, because maybe if we had it out, then maybe I could finally get over you."

"But I took it too far," Finn said shamefully. "You were so afraid. I had nightmares about the fear in your eyes that morning."

Kurt frowned and touched Finn's arm. "No. That's not right Finn. I saw our parents before you did. If you saw fear in my eyes it's because I was afraid of what my father was going to do. I was afraid of how I was going to explain everything without looking like the cheater I was. I was afraid that everyone would pity me for throwing myself at a straight man I was supposed to have gotten over two years before. I was afraid of being hurt and humiliated and left all alone because I was a horrible person."

Kurt laughed humorlessly and let go of Finn's arm. He looked out the side window for a minute before continuing. "When Dad accused you… of raping me… I was in shock. I… should have said something right then and I've replayed that morning in my head a million times since, but I couldn't. I remember opening my mouth and trying to say something, but nothing came out." Kurt swiped at the tears streaming down his cheeks.

"I honestly don't remember saying _**anything**_ for days," Kurt said. "They took me to the doctor." Kurt gave a dark laugh with no humor in it. "That was a nightmare. He did an exam to make sure that there was no tearing. God, if I hadn't been in shock already, that would have done it. He told them that I was fine, but he gave them some prescription for anxiety. They made me take the pills and I really don't remember much about that time. Those fucking pills did nothing for my anxiety, but they did a lot for putting me into a daze for weeks. But one thing I do know is that I never said that…"

Kurt took a deep breath. "I didn't tell the kids from school. I didn't tell anyone. The doctor they took me to was Santana's dad and I'm pretty sure he said something to her. Everyone thought I was so quiet because of what you did, but it was because of what happened to you. And by the time I got my act together, those fears I had that morning had multiplied. I saw the way they turned on you and I couldn't take the chance that they would do that to me if I told them the truth, so I just…" Kurt couldn't go on he was crying too hard.

Finn let him get his emotions under control, but he needed a cigarette in the meantime.

"You should quit that," Kurt said a few minutes later.

"Been trying," Finn said. "I'm doing pretty good unless things get too intense."

Kurt nodded and wiped at his eyes one last time. "So… I was pretty messed up. The one person I loved most in the world was gone and I was living a lie and I hated myself. Then Blaine came I knew I couldn't keep letting people believe you had done something so awful. So I told him. He was so disgusted with me that… It was like all of my fears were coming true, so when he left and didn't tell anyone else what I'd told him, I just kept my mouth shut.

"I pretended to be getting better," Kurt said. "But when I left for school, I was relieved I wouldn't have to pretend any more. I fell apart completely and almost flunked out of school freshman year. Everyone's supposed to participate in the end of the year fashion shows, but I had spent an entire year at school and had nothing to show for it. I was put on probation, forced to retake some of my courses over the summer and the dean made me start going to counseling. I think the dean had some idea how depressed I was. I had hit rock bottom and thought that was where I deserved to be.

"The counselor once asked me if I was suicidal and I told her that suicide was too easy," Kurt said. "I told her that I deserved to suffer for what I had done."

"God Kurt," Finn muttered. "Even when I was most angry with you, I never thought that. I…"

"I know," Kurt said. "That's what's so sad and ironic about all this, really. I knew that the gentlest, most kindhearted person I knew, the one person who was least likely to do something like that, was the one who was accused. Meanwhile, I was guilty of so much and was coasting by on lies."

"It doesn't sound like it was all that easy for you," Finn said softly. "It sounds like you had about as hard a time as I did getting past all that."

"Maybe," Kurt said. "Anyway, I kept going to the counselor until just this spring. She helped me put my life back together. It took a lot longer than I thought it would. But once I was strong enough, we started to revisit the past and, from a distance, it looks a lot less terrifying than it did when I was a scared kid. I knew that I had to make things right. I knew that I was never going to be able to move on with my life until I came clean with Dad and Carole, until I tried to make things right with you. When I lost my job and broke things off with Jeffery, it seemed like the universe was telling me it was time to fix my past mistakes."

Kurt took another deep breath. "Telling them was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, but once it was over, I felt like a weight had been lifted from my chest. Suddenly I could breathe a little freer. And even though there was shouting and tears and recriminations it didn't change the fact that I felt better.

"The funny part about all this is that the reason I kept quiet was because I was afraid of losing my Dad and Carole and Blaine and our friends," Kurt said. "But I… I lost them all anyway. I couldn't face my Dad at all. I had only been home three times in the five years since you they kicked you out. That week I was at the house after being released from the hospital was the longest I've been in their house since I left for college. I was afraid of losing them all, but I lost them anyway. I was afraid of being alone, but I isolated myself from everyone because I was so filled with shame and guilt that I couldn't bear to let anyone near me for fear that they would see.

"So I told them and I felt better, even if they did hate me," Kurt said. "And I swore right then and there that I was going to make you listen to my apology, because even if you _never_ accept it, I will know that I've done what I can to make things right between us. Which was why I was in that awful little rental car when that idiot ran me off the road. I was on my way to tell you how sorry I am."

He turned to face Finn and he could see him blinking back tears as he took a drag from his cigarette. His fingers were shaking and Kurt saw that he was pulling the truck over to the side of the road. Once the truck was stopped, Finn tossed the cigarette out the window and turned to Kurt, but he didn't say anything.

"I'm sorry, Finn," Kurt said, and the tears were back. "I am so sorry that I hurt you. I'm sorry that I let them believe such awful lies about you. I'm sorry that I killed your dreams and ruined your life…"

Finn stared at Kurt and swiped at his tears and gave a shaky laugh. "You didn't kill my dreams, just delayed them a little. And my life isn't ruined, just a little off course. I learned some very hard truths, but I think they were valuable lessons."

"I'm still sorry," Kurt said.

"I know," Finn said. "I know." He couldn't hold back any more and Finn reached out and pulled Kurt into his arms. They sat there, on the side of Interstate 90 and cried out five years of pain and guilt and fear and anger. They clung to each other as if they would drown if they let go for a second. Time lost meaning. Finn kissed away Kurt's tears before kissing Kurt's lips gently, lovingly. "I forgive you."

Kurt's breathing sped up and he stared at Finn. "I…"

"I forgive you," Finn said again. "But more important than that, I love you. I always have. I always will. There's a reason I could never get serious with any of those other men. I was waiting for this day. I love you, Kurt Hummel, and I forgive you, and I want to see where the fuck we can go from here."

"God Finn," Kurt said as a fresh wave of tears overwhelmed him. "I love you too. I love you. I love you. I don't deserve you, but I love you and I'm going to do my best to hang onto you as long as you want me."

"Forever then," Finn said and kissed Kurt again.


	9. Chapter 9

They dropped the trailer in Chicago and didn't have another trailer to bring back to Columbus, so they were soon on the road again. The day and a half since their emotional reunion was happier than either man could remember in the last five years. They seemed to need to be in constant physical contact, even if it was just Kurt leaning against Finn as he drove. As they crossed the Ohio boarder, however, both men got quiet. But Finn refused to let tension spoil their time together.

"If you do decide to start a men's line of clothes, you should do something like that green jacket you wore to your senior fashion show," Finn said out of nowhere. "I think a lot of guys would like something like that. The buckles and chain's reminded me of a biker jacket, but it was all tailored and stuff to really show off your broad shoulders and trim waist."

"Yeah, that was a great jacket," Kurt said remembering. "I designed it to go with… that… line… Finn?"

"Yeah?" Finn said and attempted to keep his face straight.

"How do you know what jacket I wore to my senior fashion show?" Kurt asked with suspicion.

"Because I was there," Finn said with a light shrug. "Sophomore and junior shows too. And a very nice lady named Gladys gave me an extra ticket to your graduation, so I was there for that too."

Kurt stared at Finn completely dumbfounded. "I don't know whether to be flattered that you came all that way to see my show or hurt that you never approached me."

"Be flattered," Finn said. "No matter how hard I tried not to love you, I couldn't help myself. And when I had an opportunity to see you, even if only from a distance, I had to take it. But I couldn't approach you. I… I had to wait for you to come to me. I _**had**_ to."

"You really have loved me all these years," Kurt said with awe.

"Since the day your slushied yourself for me," Finn said. "Though I couldn't admit it even to myself until it was too late. You want to hear my biggest regret in life?"

"What's that?" Kurt asked.

"If I had been able to just accept how I felt, who I was, none of this would have happened," Finn said quietly. "I mean, if we hadn't been fighting, maybe our parents still would have caught us, but they would have caught us loving each other. There would have been no accusations. I wouldn't have been shunned. You wouldn't have gone through all the shit you went through… Maybe we could have been together all this time."

Kurt put his hand on Finn's shoulder. "You can't think that way. When I was going to counseling still, one of the things she tried to help me understand is that dwelling on things we can't change is unhealthy. What happened, happened, for better or worse. What we have to do is figure out how to make the best of what we have today and in the future."

"You're right," Finn said. "But I think there's one thing I need to do before I can leave the past behind."

Kurt knew they were getting close to Lima and he was pretty sure he knew what Finn needed to do. "I'm with you, no matter what happens, no matter if you forgive them or not."

Finn glanced over at Kurt and smiled. "Thanks."

**FKFKFKFKFK**

Half an hour later, Finn drove the truck up to the house he never thought he'd enter again. It was about seven in the evening, so both Burt and Carole should be home, and since there were two cars in the drive, it seemed like a good bet that they were. Finn shut down the diesel engine and just stared at the front door.

"You know, that first summer, before I went to Findlay, I used to walk over here in the evenings and just watch the shadows through the curtains," Finn said. "I would wonder what you guys were doing. Sometimes I remembered those awful game nights that we always said we hated, but when they were gone I missed those nights. Sometimes I imagined you and mom and Burt sitting around the dinner table and talking and laughing about some silly thing that happened that day."

"We don't have to do this," Kurt said. "We can just keep going."

Finn leaned over and kissed Kurt deeply. "Thank you, but I have to do this."

"Okay, then we do it together," Kurt said. Finn smiled and kissed Kurt again. "You realize that making out in the truck cab in front of their house does not constitute actually talking to them, right?"

Finn pulled back and laughed. "Yeah. I get that." He opened the door and climbed down from the cab before turning around to lift Kurt down. Before he let the smaller man go, he leaned down and kissed him one last time.

"Get my crutches," Kurt said a little breathlessly when Finn finally let him go.

"On it," Finn said as he pulled them from the compartment below the cab where they stored personal items. He handed them to Kurt and soon they were making their way up to the front door. Finn rang the doorbell and laughed nervously. "It feels weird ringing the bell."

"I know," Kurt said.

The door swung open and there was Carole. She froze in place and no one said anything for a long time.

"Can, um, can we come in?" Finn asked.

"Yes," Carole said eagerly as she stepped back and opened the door wider. "Yes, please come in."

Finn nodded and let Kurt go in first and then followed him. As he passed his mom, Finn felt her hand reach out to touch his arm. It was just a light touch, but he knew she was trying to see if he was real. A part of him wanted to hug her and tell her everything was okay, that he forgave her and that he just wanted his mom back. But a part of him knew that he couldn't do that. It wouldn't take away five years of pain and feelings of betrayal. They had to go through it, as painful as it might be, step by step, just like he and Kurt had done. And because the pain was so much deeper, he thought it might take a long time to really get past it. But he wanted to try.

"Um, Burt's in the living room," Carole said a little nervously. "He's watching a game, but I'm sure…"

"Yeah, okay," Finn said and followed Kurt into the living room.

"Hey dad," Kurt said.

Burt looked up and saw his son and Finn right behind him. "Hey." After the confrontation at the hospital, Burt was reluctant to say anything that might make matters worse.

"Why don't you boys have a seat and I can get us all something to drink," Carole said.

"Thanks, mom," Finn said. He helped Kurt get settled on the sofa and grabbed one of the throw pillows to put on the coffee table so that Kurt could prop his leg up. He knew that his ankle could still swell and get really sore if he didn't put it up every few hours. Then he sat down beside Kurt and took a deep, nervous breath and let it out slowly. Kurt smiled at him and took his hand.

Burt watched the entire interaction and didn't say a word. When Carole came back with drinks for everyone, she saw their interlaced fingers before Kurt let go to accept his glass of ice water and Finn took his soda. She didn't say anything about it, though. She just gave Burt his beer and pulled a chair over to sit beside Burt.

"So…" Carole said quietly, but didn't seem to know what to say from there.

"So…" Finn echoed. "I wanted you guys to know that Kurt and I worked out our differences."

"I can see that," Burt said and there was a note of distrust there that stabbed at Finn's heart.

"Dad," Kurt scolded. "I don't think that attitude is appropriate here."

"A few weeks ago, he was screaming at me about how he could never forgive any of us for what we did," Burt said. "And now he's back with you in tow. Forgive me if I distrust his motives. I don't want to see you hurt."

Finn laughed a humorless laugh. "Maybe this was a mistake."

"No!" Carole protested. "Please don't… please."

Finn closed his eyes and he felt Kurt take his hand again. Somehow that contact gave him strength and patience. "I never said I couldn't forgive. I said I didn't want to hear your apology right there and then. We were all running high on emotion and in shock over what had happened to Kurt. I wasn't ready to deal with your guilt on top of dealing with all that."

"Can I ask… how did this happen?" Carole asked carefully, both to change the topic slightly and because she was truly curious. "You aren't… Are you?"

Finn laughed. "I thought Kurt told you what happened that night."

"He did but…" Carole shrugged. "One drunken night doesn't exactly say much."

"I've been in love with Kurt since sophomore year in high school," Finn said quietly. "I was struggling with accepting that. And at 18, sometimes my confusion came out as anger."

"That fight wasn't entirely his fault," Kurt said. "I physically pushed him several times until he lost his temper."

"It doesn't excuse my actions," Finn said. He looked up at Burt then. "But it also didn't make me a rapist."

"I'm sorry," Burt said quietly. "I should have—"

"We should have," Carole corrected her husband.

Burt nodded and took her hand. "We should have listened to your side of the story instead of jumping to the wrong conclusions."

"You're right," Finn said. "You should have."

"And we're so sorry," Carole said. She had tears running down her face.

"I know," Finn said.

"Can you forgive us?" she asked.

"Maybe," Finn said. "Someday. Not today, but someday."

That pronouncement hung heavy in the air between them for long minutes.

"We should get going," Finn finally said as he set his untouched drink aside. Before he could actually get up, however, Burt stopped him.

"Why can you forgive Kurt, but not us?"

"Because I always knew why Kurt did what he did," Finn said. "I understood then, and I understand now. He was just like me, a scared kid trying to survive what was an impossible situation. Granted, it was a situation he and I had a part in creating. But you two… You were supposed to look out for _both_ of us. You were the closest thing I'd ever had to a father. And you are my mother. The two of you were supposed to _**protect me too**_ , not just Kurt."

Finn swiped angrily at the tears he couldn't hold back. "But instead of protecting me, you believed the worst about me. Kurt never accused me of anything; that was you. And Kurt didn't throw me out to fend for myself when I was just a kid."

Carole was crying in earnest now and even Burt looked away to try and control his emotions.

Finn sighed. "I know that you are sorry. I accept that. I even know that it looked really bad for me. But I have been trying for five years to understand how you can toss your son aside without even asking if I was guilty or not. You never gave me a chance to explain. I was ostracized by my friends. I was blackballed from getting a job in town. I was made a pariah. When I was in town just a few weeks ago, I actually had someone tell me I deserve to be in jail. _**You**_ did that. And an apology doesn't wipe all of that away."

Kurt took a deep breath. "He's trying. He really is. But I think this is going to take time and effort on all of our parts to get past this."

"Do you want to get past this?" Carole asked Finn quietly.

Finn gave a sad laugh. "I want my mom back, but I'm not sure I can ever have that. Not like I had you before."

Carole gave a choked sob and nodded. "I understand."

"I used to tell everyone that I had the coolest mom ever," Finn said wistfully.

Kurt chuckled sadly as he remembered. "He did. That was one of the reasons I tried so hard to get you two together at first. That and my enormous crush on Finn."

"We really should get going," Finn said again. "I have to get the truck back to the depot. And we've been on the road for almost three weeks."

He got up and helped Kurt to his feet before handing him the crutches.

"Maybe…" Carole stopped and took a deep breath. "Maybe we could get together for dinner in a few weeks? Maybe start small?"

Finn nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good. I'd like that."

**FKFKFKFKFK**

"You want to stop and see Schue before we leave town?" Kurt asked. They had been just sitting in the truck for about five minutes while Finn stared out the window.

Finn shook his head. "No, I'll call him in a couple days or something. Right now I just want to go home, curl up in bed with you and not get up for days."

Kurt smiled and reached over and kissed Finn. "That sounds good. But there's no food at your apartment."

"We'll pick something up on the way home," Finn assured him. He looked out the window again at the house and still made no move to drive away.

"We can go back in if you think there's more you want to say," Kurt said quietly.

Finn shook his head. "I don't know that there is anything more to say. I just… I feel like there's something else that's supposed to happen. That sounds really weird."

"A little weird, maybe, but… all of this is a little weird," Kurt said. "And a lot sad."

"Yeah."

The front door to the house opened and Carole stepped out onto the porch. Her eyes were glued to the truck and Finn's eyes were glued to her.

"Go talk to her," Kurt said. Finn glanced at him and then nodded. He opened his door and then climbed from the cab. Kurt watched as his lover crossed the lawn and stood in front of his mom. There was a tension and awkwardness between them that was obvious even from where he sat. He couldn't hear what they were saying, but he saw a small smile flicker on Carole's face. She said something to Finn and then Finn nodded. And then Finn leaned down to give her a hug. It was uncomfortable and stiff at first, but eventually Kurt could see them both relax into the embrace. And then he saw the sobs shaking Finn's shoulders and the way his mom stroked his hair and whispered words into his ear.

Kurt turned away for a moment to collect himself and to give them a little privacy. Kurt knew that he had some making up to do with his own father, but that could wait. Finn needed his support now and Kurt swore he was going to put him first from now on.

He looked back over at Finn and his mom and saw that they were both smiling now. Finn gave her another hug and walked back to the truck. His whole demeanor seemed a little lighter than it had just five minutes before.

"Now we can go," Finn said once he was settled. As they drove away, Carole stood on the porch and watched them until they turned a corner.

They were both quiet for a while, just absorbing everything that had happened. Eventually, though, Kurt got a small smile on his face. "You know that if we're going to be living together, you are going to have to change a few things, right?"

"Who said we're living together?" Finn asked teasingly. He glanced at Kurt's feigned scowl and chuckled. "What changes?"

"We can start with your slovenly ways," Kurt said. Finn raised his brows and Kurt laughed. "It means messy. I cannot live in that kind of chaos."

"Okay," Finn said. "I can agree to that."

"And your diet is going to need to improve dramatically," Kurt said.

"Really?" Finn asked with some surprise.

"You actually think that soda and pop tarts are part of a healthy breakfast?" Kurt countered. "And I saw how much junk food was in your cupboards when I was trying to find something decent to eat."

"Well, junk food doesn't go bad while I'm on the road. And _you're_ going to have to agree to keep the clutter in the bathroom down," Finn countered.

"Maybe we should move to an apartment with two bathrooms," Kurt said with complete sincerity.

Finn looked over at Kurt for a moment and smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too," Kurt said.


	10. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

Finn stood back and wiped the sweat from his brow with a semi-clean rag as he looked over the 1971 Ford Mustang Mach 1 with a sports roof. He was proud of the work he had done on this car. He had rebuilt it completely, literally saving it from the scrap heap.

"She's gorgeous."

Finn turned to see Burt standing at the garage door. Finn smiled easily. "Thanks. I told Kurt he could have her, but he declined, so I think I'm going to sell her instead."

"Still prefer your Challenger?" Burt asked, already knowing that answer. "I don't blame you. That is one great car. What kind of engine you got in this one?"

"429 Super Cobra Jet," Finn said.

Burt whistled. "That's some power. If you are interested in selling her, I may know someone interested in buying, one of my suppliers in Indianapolis."

"I'll let you know," Finn said. "What brings you to town?"

"I had to come pick up a part from over at Jackson's," Burt said. "I told your mom and she wanted me to swing by and remind you that she's expecting you and Kurt this weekend."

Finn chuckled. "Like I could forget. Between her and Kurt, I swear there's not been more than a couple hours I haven't been reminded."

Burt wandered over to another of the three bays in the garage and looked over a 1985 Jeep Wagoneer that was on the lift. "How's business?"

"Great, actually," Finn said. "After Car & Driver did that story on the 1958 Bel Air I restored for that movie company, I've had more business than I know what to do with. I've hired two new guys but we just don't have the room to keep everything here."

"Gonna move?" Burt asked.

Finn nodded. "I've been looking at a few different properties and I think there's one that would be perfect. It was actually an old warehouse at one time, but it has six lifts already installed and space for another three. It's also got space to put in a paint shop. I can start doing that work in-house, instead of having to rent space."

"Wow," Burt said. "That's really great."

"Dad?" Kurt said from the office doorway. "What are you doing here?" He walked over and gave his father a hug.

"I was in town getting a part and Carole asked me to stop in," Burt said. "I didn't expect to find you here."

"We have an appointment this afternoon and if I don't come down to drag him away, Finn will completely lose track of time," Kurt said.

Finn checked his watch. "Speaking of which, I better get changed so we can go."

Finn left Kurt and Burt talking and went to the bathroom to clean up as best he could. When he came back out in fresh jeans and a button-down shirt Kurt was alone.

"Did you tell him where we're going?" Finn asked.

"No," Kurt said with a smile. "I thought I'd wait and we can tell them both this weekend."

"Alright," Finn agreed with a smile. "You ready to go?"

"Absolutely."

**FKFKFKFKFK**

Kurt drove them in his BMW. Every time he rode in that car, Finn cringed but Kurt loved it. Finn would rather have a great engine, a classic chassis and a wide wheel base. Kurt preferred luxury and status. It was just one of those differences that they had learned to live with over the years.

They had been together for almost five years now and their lives had changed so much in that time. Kurt's online fashion business had boomed until the big fashion houses in New York had to sit up and take notice. Now Modern Male by Kurt Hummel was one of the fastest growing clothing lines in the country. Kurt liked to say that the reason he was so successful was because he had two lines. One line catered to Kurt's tastes and was always right on the cutting edge. The other line catered to men like Finn, completely clueless but who wanted to look good anyway. Part of what made that line work was the fact that anything he put out in that line could be worn with pretty much any other item in the line in any given year, making them idiot proof. Both lines were now being carried in most of the top department stores across the country.

Finn had gone back to school as planned and had graduated at the top of his class two years later. He hadn't planned on opening his own business, but while he was still in school he finished the Challenger and a few car buffs saw it. When they found out he did the work himself, they asked him to do some work on their classic cars. By the time he finished school, he had a decent client list already and was making a name for himself as one of the best car restoration experts in the state. Then came the movie and the magazine article and now he had more business than he knew what to do with.

Kurt pulled the car into the parking lot at the clinic and turned to Finn with a smile. "You ready?"

"Yeah," Finn said with a huge smile.

A few minutes later, they were led into the exam room and greeted by Theresa and the doctor.

"You guys ready to find out?" Theresa asked from her place on the exam table.

"Yeah," Finn said and Kurt nodded.

They waited with bated breath until the doctor spoke. "There you are, gentlemen." He point to the video screen and both Kurt and Finn leaned a little closer. "Those are your babies."

"Babies?" Finn asked. "How many babies?"

"Just two," the doctor said with a smile. There was always a chance that there would be more with invetro procedures. "It's still too early to tell genders, but those are definitely your babies."

Kurt reached out and touched the video screen. "Oh god."

"We're gonna be dads," Finn said with awe.

"Yeah."

**FKFKFKFKFK**

It had taken time, but the strain between Finn, Kurt and their parents eventually disappeared. There was still a small cloud of remembered pain over their relationship, but that would probably always be there. Forgiveness may have been sought and granted, but the human heart bears the scars of injuries that deep. Still, Finn was happy to have his family back together. And he was even happier that he had Kurt.

They arrived in Lima on Friday evening and told Burt and Carole about the babies over dinner. They even showed them the sonogram pictures. The two were ecstatic about becoming grandparents. Soon Carole and Kurt were discussing decorating a nursery in the house they had just bought while Finn and Burt nodded along for a while before talking about the latest concept car from Ford.

After dinner was over, Finn and Kurt helped clean up before heading back out. They were meeting up with the other glee members at a local bar. Their ten year reunion was the next night but they had all agreed to meet up on Friday to catch up first without spouses or significant others or the pressures from the rest of their class. Neither Kurt nor Finn had seen most of their glee friends since high school and they were both nervous about how the night would go. Most of the friends had lost touch along the way. Only Rachel and Schue kept track of everyone. And only Schue, Mercedes and Puck really knew about Finn and Kurt.

Finn was more nervous about facing them than he had been about telling their parents about the babies.

"It's going to be okay," Kurt said and took his hand as they stood outside the bar entrance. "And if it's not, we can always leave. We've lived this long without them in our lives; we can live another ten years and try again at the twenty year reunion."

Finn chuckled at Kurt and squeezed his hand. "I love you."

"I know," Kurt said smugly. "And it's a good thing, because I love you too."

They had deliberately come late to be sure that everyone was there before them. The group was in a small back room that was separate from the rest of the bar and when Kurt walked in holding Finn's hand the entire room got silent.

"What the fuck?" Santana said.

"Hey everyone," Kurt said brightly. "I know we were supposed to leave our spouses at home, but I thought you might not mind if I brought mine along."

"Spouse?" Rachel asked looking a little ill. Kurt had to wonder if it was because she thought Finn was guilty, or because she had decided he was innocent and wanted him again.

"For three years now," Kurt confirmed. "We got married right after they passed the marriage bill. But we can go if you don't want us here."

"I for one want to know what the hell happened to bring this about," Quinn said.

Puck laughed at them all. "You people are all such idiots."

Tina scowled. "I beg your pardon?"

"You were all so sure that Finn was guilty of something that not even Kurt would confirm," Puck said darkly. "You took the word of Santana's dad and ran with it."

"So Finn didn't…?" Artie asked.

"No," Finn said. "I didn't. It was all a very big and painful misunderstanding. It took us five years to fix it, but we've been together for five years now, and I've never been happier."

"Me too," Kurt said with a huge smile. "Now, can we sit, or should we go?"

"Shove over," Puck told Mike and Tina so that they could have two seats beside each other.

Soon they were all sitting around laughing and catching up on each others' lives. There were no apologies, but Finn figured he didn't really need them. He was happy. He was loved. He was successful. And soon he would be a father. There wasn't much that could make his life better. So, he could afford to be magnanimous.

"Did you guys hear that Schue finally married Miss Pillsbury?" Mercedes asked.

"We were at the wedding," Finn told them easily and proceeded to fill them in on all the details of the big event.

**FKFKFKFKFK**

That night, as they lay together in Finn's old room, long converted to a guest room, they were both quiet. Finn was lying on his back and Kurt had his head resting on his shoulder and his leg thrown over Finn's. They were both tired and slightly tipsy, but neither of them was ready to sleep.

"I think Rachel was a little jealous that I got you and she's still single," Kurt said.

"Even if we weren't together, I wouldn't be with her," Finn said reasonably. "I am gay, you know."

"I did know that," Kurt said. "I got stuck listening to her for almost half an hour after she found out that we're using a surrogate. She wanted me to know everything she has ever felt or thought about being a child of two dads from birth until tonight. It was rather exhausting."

"Well she hasn't changed at all then," Finn said. "Do you think Puck was serious about bringing Candy to the reunion tomorrow?"

Kurt chuckled. "Knowing him? He won't think twice about bringing a stripper to the reunion. He'll just think it will 'up his juice'."

"She's a very nice stripper," Finn said.

"Yes she is," Kurt said. "But neither of them is at all serious about a relationship. She would just be there for appearances."

"Sam and Quinn looked happy," Finn said. "Three kids already."

"I don't think she ever really got over giving up Beth," Kurt said. "Seeing Artie and Brittany back together again was a shock."

"Not as big of a shock as we were to everyone," Finn said.

"True," Kurt said. "You know, I was thinking..."

"About?"

"Our road trips," Kurt said. He had gone with Finn on all three of the runs he had made the summer after they moved in together and it had been a great time for them to bond. "With the babies coming this winter, this summer may be the last chance we have to hit the road for a very long time."

"You want to run away for a few weeks?" Finn asked with a smile.

"I know you haven't sold that '75 Corvette convertible yet," Kurt said. "We could take it and just drive wherever we want."

"What about work?" Finn asked.

"You're the boss," Kurt said. "Make the flunkies pull their weight for a change. Seriously, Jim can run the shop."

"I know," Finn said. "I was actually thinking about your work."

"Oh," Kurt said. "Well I'm caught up on my designs for the time being. And you know I can do most of my work from anywhere. That's why I have people to run the business side of things, so I don't have to."

"How long?"

"A month?" Kurt said.

Finn said, "We can see a lot of the country in a month."

"Something beside interstates this time," Kurt said. "We can get lost on the back roads. I think some of best surprises come when you allow yourself to go off course."

Finn thought about that and had to agree. Ten years ago, his life had been thrown off course, but now he was happier than he had ever thought he could be.

"Let's do it," Finn said and kissed Kurt's head. Kurt sat up a little and leaned over to kiss Finn deeply. As Kurt pulled away and lay back down Finn knew that no matter what road they took, he and Kurt would make the trip together and that would make all the difference in the world.

**The End**


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